CoachBri’s Blog

There were about ten or eleven of them in a large gymnasium, pushing each other around on these little carts. One or two of them would get behind the other and push. Every time the driver would turn, three would go tumbling over the other and loud shrieking laughter would echo throughout the gym. To look and feel this gem of activity brought deep tears to my eyes and a large smile on my face. These children didn’t see color, race, sex or disability. They were enraptured in enjoyment.  One very little boy on the cart stopped all of a sudden and with the greatest attention became aware that the laughter had an echo and he gave out a loud yell. Soon all the others caught on and soon they were all yelling and listening. Then each gave the other a turn and the others listened and laughed.  The first boy on the cart became bored with it and again was off on his cart, soon being chased in tow by the others.

Innocent is how we all start out. Regardless of how bad our lives as children were, innocence finds a way to play and laugh. Even in the poorest conditions children will find a way to play, and find happiness. This is our natural state and we lose touch with it because the outside world moves in and we are brainwashed to believe the human experience is not enough, that we are incomplete in ourselves, and creation has left something out of the package.  Children who are genuinely happy don’t need anything external to be happy – they are too busy playing in the space of happiness.

Because we are pressured to become something, we grow up with the feeling we are not enough or something is wrong with us. The only option left is to conform to the wishes of our parents who, by the way, are already terribly unhappy because of the impositions of their parental and cultural conditioning.  They feel unhappy, and feel this huge void within themselves. Therefore they fill it with their parents conditioning then modify it a little and make it their own.

How do you know this is true? Because today we are a society of addicts we have to have a drink, smoke, sex, gamble, or become workaholics, sport-aholics, shopaholics, etc. People don’t see that the heart of addiction is to cover up the feel of the void within us. This void is created by our drug of choice. We all want to be happy, as we were as children, which is our natural state. But we use various addictions to cover up the fact we feel deprived.

Linked to the feeling of depravity is the feeling of inadequacy. This feeling is so deep in human beings and it is our greatest fear, the fear of being a nothing.  You smoke, drink, over sex, gamble, overeat, overwork, because you think doing these things will make you feel better. Well it does for that feeling of being deprived – a smoke, eating, or drinking something takes that feeling away. However, when the chemical has left the system, one must use again. Using is the closest thing to being in a natural of happiness. However, it is drug dependent and there is an illusion of happiness.  People who are not chemically addicted don’t walk around feeling deprived.   They don’t feel this huge void that addicts feel almost all the time.  As soon as the drug is out of their system, this feeling of void comes up.  So really the drug creates the void.

Religion, politics, and beliefs of any kind also cover up the deeper void created by our brainwashing.  The brainwashing that we are born inadequate is rooted in the fact that we try to fill a hole in ourselves with the product of thought and all the things that thinking has created. The universe was not created by our thinking process. Nor is love or nature created by thinking.  They are all realities independent of thinking. In order for us to develop and be whole human beings and reach our potential, we must have contact with a reality that is beyond thought. Then the next thing thought does is try to build a bridge to that other reality, which it can never do. Thus all human beings, when they are lonely, feel this deep sense of a void or insufficiency in themselves.

Our education creates children of the void.  Education in our culture is about stuffing in the things of thought, and the word education actually means to draw out. It is in the drawing out the illusions of self that there is really play and laughter, which is our natural state. To be innocent is to be free of all images about oneness and the other. In that innocence there is really joy. Watching these children was a deep blessing, and at the same time I wept for all those children who have to face the misery of this rotten society with its preoccupation with money and all its addictions.

Coach Bri

It was a lovely spring morning. The earth was dark and damp and gave off such a rich, earthy smell. The sky looked so turquoise blue over the lake and on the horizon the colors were so soft with no promise of rain.

We walked for some time in the solitude of the morning. He then began to cry. His tears were large and he felt somewhat embarrassed and foolish.

Let them come sir! It is so cleansing to be vulnerable. You are among friends now.

I sorry for all this, I never thought this would happen, but it is there now and I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness.

Yes sir. Let it be there! Do watch it sir and see all of it without any interruption.

But it feels so… so…

Ugly, sir?

Well, I wasn’t going to say that but it does make sense, it is kinda ugly.

Sir, most of us live such a self-centered, ugly existence.  We want to be so much more than what we are. We need to have letters after our name so we seek and broadcast all our accreditation to buff us up so we don’t feels so empty.

That is how I feel – so insignificant.

Yes sir we are! We live such boring lives, and try to establish some profound, deeper meaning to our existence, when really we are petty, shallow-minded and a slave to desire.

I can see that although I have never put words to it before.

Or we are always wanting to be entertained, taken out of our mediocre, boring lives.

My life is boring. Don’t get me wrong – I have done a lot with my life and I am thankful but it all seems to be so heartless. Nothing brings me real satisfaction. I seem to spend my life just active to be active. I feel that I am really running, but don’t know what from.

Yourself sir!

How do you mean? I have a good job, wife, kids, I meet my responsibilities but it is not enough. I want something more but don’t know what!

Yes sir, thought in its very nature creates an ego or self and that self is our existence. As it moves it is always comparing, judging, and evaluating and therefore creates a division between you and your life. That division is the movement of pleasure and pain which is what self is. It is nothing more than a movement of pleasure and pain. We or self are that movement and that movement also keeps itself going and creates a sense of void. That deep void within, being the product of self, is where most human beings are caught. This is the prison humanity is caught in. This is his burden, the source of all his confusion. He is always trying to cover it up and in doing so creates conflict. He rejects any other possible way to live. He is in conflict with himself, because thought divides him against himself. It breaks us up into parts of thought, feeling and action. It is the source of all human anxiety sir. To act out of thinking in the world of technology is the only place for thought to act. Any other place, thought is a burden.  In the matter if relationship and of the heart thought has little place, only to communicate. That is all!

It is true that I am lost! That is the feeling of have.

Yes sir, most of humanity is lost. Lost in the vain pursuits of religion, making money, acquiring something to show others and our self we are someone. And for all this we will go to war! Always creating deeper anxiety for all sir!

This has been so helpful. I thought all these things were locked inside and no words to get them out. Why do I feel so much better, when I think I just looked at how ugly I am.

Sir, the truth acts, it is the thing that sets us free. Right sir?

I must come to your discussion in Toronto. Thank you.

No problem sir!

Coach Bri