CoachBri’s Blog

Coach, I had to call. I’m not scoring. I am so pissed, I had a chance in the shootout and I shot wide. If I would have scored we would have won the game.

Yes you’re right – you might have!

No, I was the last shooter, the one who could of done it. But I didn’t. I let the team down! I stink! I don’t know why I play this game!

I thought you did because you love it!

I did. I am not fucking loving it now!

Before the game, how many times did you rehearse shooting or practice a shootout that week?

Why? What the hell is that going to do for me?

When you were given the opportunity to take the shootout, what was your thinking doing?

What kinda question is that? My thinking doing?

Yes, were you thinking?

Another stupid question. What does that mean?

Sorry, but can you give me a bit of your time now or do you want to call me later?

I was shitting my pants!!! OK?! I was scared, it was a hard game and I needed to score – I blew it.

Yes I see! Fear. What is fear?

Fuck I hate this, I can’t think right now! You give me questions I just want…?

What?

Sympathy!

Yes! Ok. Sorry, I thought I’d mistaken you for someone who loves the game rather than someone who defines themselves by it.

Thanks! Thanks a lot! You can be such a prick!

Yes! Still afraid to look are you? You make it about me! Maybe I can take the shootout for you!

Ok I get your point. Sorry! Sorry!

So you were shitting your pants were you?

No but I felt like it, my stomach was gassy and nervous. My arm felt uptight.

What happened the more you focused on the outcome of scoring? The tighter your arms and stomach felt, right?

Yes, that’s exactly it!

How was your breathing?

Shallow and short. But I have been doing what you said – focusing on the process.

No, you’ve being talking yourself into talking about process, to get an outcome, which is focusing on the outcome pretending, you’re not.

You know, I think you’re right, as crazy as that sounds. But how do you know that coach?

You said your breath was short and you had fear! If you want to score in tough situations you must be all about process. Process is mastering your breath, mastering yourself and then the situation.

How do you know I didn’t master myself?

Because you said your were shitting your pants, you were putting yourself under pressure therefore … fear. Fear is always the future! Future is outcome.
Therefore you couldn’t…

Master the situation! I get it coach. I see it!!! Now what do I do?

Nothing! Seeing is doing! If you’re really seeing!

How will I know if I really see?

That’s easy! You must come to terms with your self-centered approach to sport! You are, in those moments, an egomaniac, all about you, not the team.

Thanks coach – just say it as it is!

Deep breath in through your nose, out through you mouth. Breathe deep into your belly and as you exhale release with a sound hawwwww. Then clear your mind, positive thoughts, only on process, on what you are doing, love the pressure, love the game and shoot. What happens once you release the puck is gone forever.

You miss because:
1. The goalie is more focused that you.
2. You are identified with the outcome of your shot. You have made it personal.
3. Your breath is shallow, your thoughts bring fear, your body is tight and movement is out of rhythm, you are feeling pressure, not challenge, therefore you are at the effect of your stinking thinking.

Yes that is me! You’re right coach!

No, I’m not right – you see the truth in what I am saying, that is all. What is the purpose of your feelings?

I remember this coach – to tell me something is wrong! Right?

Partly. Feelings tell us if what we are doing now is effective or ineffective.

Oh yeah!

How do you feel now?

Better! Thanks Coach bri!

You do a sport! Never let it define you, your performance is but a mirror to see your own ego get in the way. When ego is not there you find discipline. Discipline is doing what you have to do when you have to do it.

Thanks coach!

Coach bri

The park was small and quiet. A large river flowed on both sides of the park. After the downpour of rain, the smell of sewage was strong whenever the wind blew through a few tall solitary spaced trees. An old man, walking bent over with a cane, slowly made himself over to the small bench made for one person to sit in the serenity of the green space. As he sat, his hands and movements seemed to be well practised and his long nimble fingers placed the cane comfortably beside him and then he took a deep unencumbered breath. As his chest began to rise and fall he appeared to be somewhat more relaxed and the stress of his weathered face seemed to be removed and lost its hardness. He seemed to sit there for quite some time oblivious to everything around. He seemed very comfortable where he sat and even his feet were placed in a certain position that was known him. The city of Osaka was full of bustle and noise yet in this small quiet green space there seemed to be a break from the known, as well as the noise.

How important it is for us as human beings to be unoccupied and have a mind that is free of all external and internal pressure. Most human beings are occupied all the time with trying to achieve goals, accumulate ideas, money, power, sex or even trying to find the love that they want. We never take the time to look at the fact that we are always so busy inwardly and occupied with so many things that our brain becomes tired, monotonous, and caught in a rut. This rut that human beings are in has become our mediocrity, our prison and our false need of security. We think that through a routine, rituals, traditions, we are safe and protected, protected from hurt, fear and loneliness and all our psychological self-centered problems.

Humankind has been unable to solve many of our external problems such as war, poverty and destroying the environment. These problems themselves are created because inwardly in each of our daily lives conflict, greed, and convenience rule. Each human being has a self and that self is of the greatest importance. We spend most of our time satisfying the self and all its egocentric pursuits. This self is always pursuing pleasure and running away from pain.

Human beings have the greatest difficulty coming to terms with the fact that self is the dominant thing in our lives. When self is the dominant thing in life we lose all sense of relationship. Therefore we are unable to see ourselves as we are because the you that is is defined by your relationship with people and things. We are unable to solve the external problems because we cannot face our internal problems and in this is the revolution that interests me the most. To gather great wealth, have a good position in society, to be well respected for the letters that one has after their name – these are the pursuits of most people. These pursuits are in fact the pursuits of our ancestors and yet they continue in modern world today and are the central cause of the direction we’re headed. We will start looking more and more to other planets in the solar system and spread our poison rather than face ourselves and solve the noise within us.

Everything in life needs the space in order to grow. Even the most beautiful music in the world can be defined by the space between the notes. Inwardly human beings need space. This space means that the noise of thought is not the main occupation of the brain. And then it follows that most human beings would be terrified of such a movement because inwardly their self would not be a priority. Most religions unfortunately have caught onto this and have used methods and systems to get out of thinking, but they cannot see that the methods and systems that they’re imposing are also put together by thinking. Therefore the state of silence that they are trying to achieve is in fact imposed by the noise of thinking. People are happiest when they are doing something they love, mainly being creative. When we are creative, that creativity is in fact a thoughtless action.

As I sat and watched the old man leave and watched another person come and take his place, I began to feel the mechanical mess of ritual. A ritual is something you do over and over that is void of all creativity. In order to be creative, all thinking must come to an end and action flows out of the deep awareness and silence that is not the cultivation of thinking. That action is whole, healthy and responsible. That action is not the action of accumulation or gathering and not part of any premeditated result. In that action there is no regret or flaw because it is void of self. That I believe is the action necessary for change. That action cannot be brought into being through any type of effort, system or method.

I watched the sun slowly move behind the clouds and could feel the coming of another rain. As the sun slowly moved behind the clouds the buildings on the horizon took on different shades of red and gray. There in the beauty of the earth and in this buildings have their place. Several large swans were making their way slowly up the river. Every once in a while they began to honk loudly and then scatter about. On the other side of the river standing between two metal beams was a large beautiful heron. It stood on one of its spindly legs and was absolutely still. In that stillness was its precision. Every so often at lightning speed it would snatch a small fish from the river and then remained perfectly still again. It was a benediction in the current which was full of music and love.

Coach bri