CoachBri’s Blog

It was a fresh night – a welcome relief from the intense humidity of the last few days. The birds’ calls seemed to be clear and sharp. From the noise they were making and how active they were, they to seemed to enjoy the cooler evening. The sunlight on the large ash tree added to the warm inviting color of the moss that was so gentle on one’s eyes. A teenage boy across the field wearing a muscle shirt was talking very loudly to two girls who were flirting back at him to win his affections. Their voices, young and carefree, seemed to carry in the breezes of this cool night. They seemed to talk endlessly with energy and excitement without stopping. An older couple, frustrated with them, asked if they could be a little more quiet. They just laughed and slowly made their way farther down the field and began again. The older couple let everyone around them know they were annoyed by these youth. Looking for agreement they didn’t get, they too moved on, away from the mirror which was unnoticed by their resistance of their ego self.  Humankind has not changed over time except in the area of technology. As a species we are barely holding our own.

“Why is self so strong in us?” was the question he asked.

What do you think sir?

I have no idea. I have tried very hard to do as you ask and see that I am the thing in my life that must change. But when I am in a crisis I always want the other person to change, even though, as you say, I am the one in pain.

Sir, what is the self and can it really change?

My self seems to always be on the move. I just get one thing and then I seem to be something else.

Yes sir. The self is always moving in contradiction.

But why does it do that?

Because self is a product of thought and thought is a movement, or energy, moving through a material process called matter.

That doesn’t tell me why it is always moving in contradiction! That doesn’t make sense to me!

Sir, thought has made yourself, myself and everyone else’s self. If you take on the thought of a Christ you call yourself a Christian. If you identify with Canada which thought has put together, you call yourself a Canadian, right sir?

Okay, yes!  But why is that a contradiction?

Because you or anyone else is not born a Christian or a Muslim or a Canadian or Chinese. It is the human brain taking on that conditioning from the outside, it is imposed on you and you must conform to it.

I still don’t get it. Why would we take it on?

Because if we don’t you are branded or punished.  You, needing people to be loved and belong and be safe, are forced out of fear to conform. That conforming is the beginning of violence.  See it sir!  Thought creates a sense of self to cover emotional trauma.  We naturally form images to be secure and those very images created the hurt and rejection we fear. So the contradiction is self always trying to find security through the images that thought has made and at the same time those images are always the source of the hurt because it can never be totally secure.

Why is that?

All images are made by thought and therefore a product of time!

So what? Who cares if they’re a product of time? They bring some security.

Show me one image you have that is secure!

Well I have an image of you that you’re a nice person!

Yes and if I yell or criticize you, you will begin to like me less and be hurt by my behaviour towards you.

Okay I see that! Okay, my mother loves me!

Okay. Has she ever hurt you?

No, never!

So you get along with her?

Well, most of the time!

And the other times?

Well, she is a pain at times and is hard to love!

Which means what?

I don’t know!

As long as she lives up to your image of you she is okay! But because she has some other images of you that you don’t like she is on the outs, right sir?

Yeah I think you’re right, but what has this got to do with self being a contradiction?

Everything! Self is one thing one moment and then something else the next. Self is a product of time and your whole psyche is put together by thought over time.
So this means there are two movements going on in man: the movement of time and a movement that is not of time, which in this discussion we can your “beingness”.

And they’re in contradiction?

Yes sir, all the days of our lives. Self is always trying to find security in a world that it has created that is completely insecure.

So nothing in life is secure?

Have you been able to find something that is?

No, not yet.

Sir, this is the fact! To be mentally well adjusted in a world as sick as this one is no measurement of mental health. In fact, people who can’t fit into this world could teach us more than the people who are. To give your life to achieve money, power, position, material things, and large banks accounts and to identify who you are with it is a sure sign of madness. Do you see it sir?

Yes I think so!

That is why I have such great feelings for the alcoholic and the drug addict. They are living that life because of the emotional trauma of this life. They weren’t loved, their needs were not met, and they are the walking wounded. So then the drug companies step in and assault and exploit them so they can cover up their emotional pain. It’s a vicious circle sir. Do you see it?

I think I do! So you say we are living and self is our emotional trauma.

Kind of sir. First there is both then your culture imposes into you their sickness.
Then looking for connection you are forced to conform for acceptance and approval and all that. When you don’t or won’t be controlled, external psychology is applied on you and the damaging nature of external control cripples us. In our pain we drink, drug, and addict to all kinds of things to cover our emotional abuses others inflict, which causes a huge wound in us psychologically. I can become a great doctor or politician, actor, or escape to the street. It is all the same. I am caught in the web of my own confusion and that is what I must free myself from. Be on street drugs, brain drugs, or the drug of religion or politics, or whatever my life is, chasing pleasure and the avoidance of pain. That is what most people are about! So seeing all this, can I not stop escaping into meditation and psychics and contacting the dead and all those games but face my own self-centered living and stop all external control in my life? Then perhaps the emotional trauma in our life heals by something beyond self and the movement of thought. Only then can one really face life without any expectations of our vain becoming.

Thanks Coach Bri.

You’re welcome.

Question # 1

Male, age  24
Occupation: Surveyor
I do a lot of reading and I am not religious by any sense of the word. I have been working for this past year in a new job. I get to spend lots of time alone, often days on end in the wild. The company I work for pays me well and when I return to civilization I reward my hours of hard work with partying, gadgets, and dumb pursuits. My heart feels empty and when I look at life and see all the lies and corruption, it feels shitty.  I couldn’t believe the last bailout and the rich powerful banks that created the whole thing, with lies after lies. I thought Obama would be different but he is like all the rest it seems. He operated in the interest of big business and now the citizens, the taxpayers, get ripped off. It seems all the religions have failed. The Catholic Church is full of the sexual abuse, yet they claim they are close to God! The Muslims and all the violence, the field of psychiatry filled with doctors who have no idea about helping people, just drug pushers for drug companies and inventing diseases so they sound smart. The world is what it is and I feel maybe it has always been this way. But here I am, almost 25 and what I see of humans, including myself, is just so pathetic.  We may do great things in medicine, space the final frontier and all that, but really for what? So we can destroy that planet too?  I read your web site sometimes and I feel a bit better.  Then again it may offer me a place to hide. What is life about Coach Bri? Because apart from getting laid, partying, and buying what I want when I want it, it all seems so pointless. Yet I play, waiting for some experience to jolt my life into something true or real. My apology for all the words but for some reason I think you care.

Answer:

Humankind has lived this way since the dawn of time. We are so deeply conditioned to live from a very small part of our brain. We think we are educated because we get degrees, which is just another from of corruption sanctified by the establishment of the ego. We have inherited all the knowledge of the experts and professors who are caught in the same egocentric game as the beggar on the street. Both have a conditioned point of view, created by thinking. We are a melting pot of so many things which are the creation of the thinking process and through that process we make life mean something and cling to it like a starving dog, looking for its next meal.

What matters in this life is not what you become but what you refuse to become, as all becoming is the conditioned point of view, and the common way of living. What matters is not what I think or what anyone else thinks of your life because, that too is the conditioning of authority passed down from man’s deep confusion.  No one can set a human being free; one has to do it for oneself because one has to come to terms with this ugly petty existence.

Most people out of their confusion cultivate faith. The very movement of faith is the heart of our darkness.  The story of humankind over the ages is the pursuit of some state of being where there is perfect security.  This leads a person, through their beliefs, given or self-invented, to kill another in the name of faith. To be secure we have made our minds into accumulating commercial machines. We have made meditation, the practice of sitting down, listening to music, breathing deeply and using our imagination to find a few moments of peace. Any peace that is self-induced soon becomes the source of our attachment and another movement of seeking security. Anything thought creates from spiritual methods, rituals, traditions and faiths can never lead to freedom but are the source of all bondage and lead to fear.

Most human beings, when they deal with death, cling to the conditioned cultural images and beliefs as a means of running from the fear of the unknown.  Running from the unknown we cling to things and know we are caught in our own superficiality. This drives us to drink, drug, or gamble, or some other excitement that promises us relief from our own pettiness.

Most human beings are full of anxiety and we don’t see we create this anxiety because we are a slave to thought. Thought has developed the process of intellect and is refining it every generation. We think that the more letters we have after our name the more secure we are. Security is what thought creates, however brilliant or simple it may be, is the source of anxiety. A person who is willing to step out of this madness, not as a reaction (because all reaction is anxiety and superficiality) must at seeing the disorder in themselves step out of the known into the unknown. In doing so everything is organized against you. Yes, your wife, your friends, your workplace, everything. Only then in the emptying process is there a shift from an external psychology to an internal one. That movement is the source of everything. It is like the dark matter of the universe that is holding everything together.

Coach Bri

I would rather live a life of sorrow and insecurity than live in a world created by the illusions of thought that give a false sense of security and togetherness.

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I don’t know much and what I do know isn’t worth much. But what I feel at any given moment tells me what I am doing right now is my freedom or my bondage.

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We were built to love and be loved.
We are incapable of processing love or being processed by it.
It is only by us loving that love is restored in us and we are healed from all the incapable people like us that fall short of love’s high call.

Coach bri