It was a still night. All the earth was asleep and even in the winter the streets held their own enchantment. It was a good time to get out and walk the streets of Varna, this small town with only a few streets.  The shops were all closed and Christmas was the theme in the few windows. There was a dusting of snow from the early evening that seemed to warm the ground. But now, well past midnight in that absolute stillness, the brain was fighting to keep thinking and the mind was watching thought interfere with perception. Eventually thought had no place, and vulnerability and strength were in everything.  The softness of the streetlight seemed to light millions of tiny diamonds as the ground took on a delicate shimmer of waves. The cars that approached from the distance broke the enchantment of the evening like thoughts that enter perception and kill one’s mood.  As they passed the evening slowly returned to its own stillness from the intruder. One could watch the lights for miles and the darkness seem to swallow the vehicles.

Christmas was only a few days away, the children would all be home and I felt the ache for those who had no one. The rich, the poor, the war torn places and all the indifference caused by humanity could not touch that stillness. It was unconcerned with humankind because it had no place for selfishness of any kind. The religious, the politicians, the false hope of The Secret and the born again would all tremble in its presence. To be nothing inwardly, to have no defense linked to any idea of how oneself or anyone else should live or be is freedom. That stillness has no cause, whereas Christmas and all the holidays of any religion, however sacred, are caused by the thinking of humankind. These holidays are invented by man to build a path to that stillness. But the stillness demands to be without ego, or self, which is tradition.

Humankind’s greatest tradition is to form a self and it splits into a trillion self-offerings, each self a false sense of security. People break relationship whenever their process of living become more or less than anyone else’s.  People getting together for Christmas or anytime is great if relationship with compassion is directing the interactions. Only here are people safe! For many people Christmas is a time to get stoned or pissed, to cover up the pain of the memories of unmet needs of Christmases past.  Try to remain clean and get close to the people in your life you’re disconnected from. Reach out to those who are hurting but do it clean and sober. Drugs we invented for the unhappy by the unhappy and you were one born without them and lived happier than you are now.

The evening was so clear and open. I took my time and walked back to my house to a warm fire and cozy chair. I sat there for some time until  sleep over took me.

Merry Christmas.

Coach bri