CoachBri’s Blog

There was a soft rain that intensified and then slowly died out back. It seemed to move in waves, pushed and pulled by the warm wind. The snow was almost gone except for deep in the ditches along the roadside. It seemed so strange how the warmth of spring inflicted the snow with a sense of being out of place. Yet in the colder temperatures of winter, snow along the roadside seemed to define the season so well.

The warmer weather brought out the groundhogs and skunks and along the highway there was a lot of roadkill. Every couple of kilometers there would be another dead animal and the turkey vultures would return and have a feast.

He was a sad boy, yet deep in his guts he was angry, unloved and controlled. He wanted his life to be everything that it wasn’t. He had nothing to say that was good about anyone or anything. He spent the first thirty minutes of our time together trying hard to stay disconnected. He didn’t trust anyone except his sister. She was a few years older but only had time for him when it was convenient and she wanted something.

After that time had passed, he told me that there was no need for him to see me. He had life figured out. So I asked him to explain what he had figured out.

I know that life basically is full blown bullshit!!!

I think you’re right! How old are you?

Twelve, but what bullshit are you going to try and shovel down my throat? By comparing me with other twelve year-olds?

Well, I think nothing! I can see you do have life figured out. For twelve you’ve got quite a lot of insight into things.

More psycho bullshit! I’m not stupid!! It is pretty fuckin’ easy to figure it out.

Not for us all, it took me took me till I was forty to figure that out. You got it a twelve.

He sat in silence for several minutes and I remained quiet. Then I asked how he figured it out and could he share his secret with me.

Why would I do that?

Well you might want to put it in a book; you might help a lot of kids or parents.

Yeah right! Parents should be licensed!

Yep, only job I know that you don’t have to have any credentials for. Anybody can be a parent!

Well they shouldn’t let them! All they want to do is control us. Make us live up to what others think!

I know you’re right; I do it sometimes with my own kids. And I hate it. I see how they hate it and it hurts our relationship.

Well you should tell that to my parents. They’re both on drugs and I’m the one who has to look after them half the time. I do the fuckin’ shopping, pay bills and fuckin’ clean up their shit.

You seem pretty tired and angry!

No shit! How many degrees do you have to have figured that out?

I got through university, but you don’t have to have a degree to figure that out. You know that!

How the shit do you know what I know?

Hey you’re twelve, you have figured lots of things out and you don’t have a degree, unless you’re some genius child and are in university and you’re just playing me.

If wish I was in university!

Yeah, why is that?

Wouldn’t have to be in my home with my dumb parents.

That’s pretty tough eh?

At times!

How tough?

I think parents just use kids.

How do you feel used?

Well if you have them, aren’t you supposed to be there for them?

Yeah makes sense to me! You got another thing that figured out!

I hate my parents and so does my sister. She doesn’t even come home sometimes because she knows they’ll be wasted. The weekends are the worst.

Why do you say that?

Because they have their friends over and party and do drugs. And I have to cook and clean up their shit, they just use me.

That’s sad. I’m sorry. Is their anywhere you can go when that’s happening?

Sometimes I go to my Gram’s place. But then she freaks on my parents and then I get shit.

Do you think your Gram would come in and talk with me?

She’s the one who brought me here.

Are you alright if I ask her to come in and I talk to her?

About what? I can’t live there. My parents would freak, my sister already tried and the police came and everything and Gram got sick. Her heart’s no good.

Well I don’t want you to live there. We’d talk just about how when you come not to make a big deal with your parents. So you’ve got a safe place.

So Gram would call and tell them?

No, we’d talk about how she wouldn’t go at your parents and make things worse. She can just call and let them know you’re there.

She does that now!

Yes, but what else does Gram do that ends up making things worse?

She yells, gives them shit, but she should – they’re assholes.

Well, do you think your parents benefit by Gram yelling at them?

No! But they deserve it!

Yes they do but I’m concerned about you having a safe place to go. Is it safe there, do you like it there!

Yeah better than home!

Okay, so if Gram could not yell and get on their case when you have to get out, do you think you would spend more time at Gram’s?

I think so, but Gram’s not going to shut up. I know her. She’s going to be pissed at them.

You’re probably right but if she didn’t, what might happen? If she just had you call and say you are there.

It would be better I think!

Okay, so do you think she would come and talk with me? Could we do it together? I’d like to help.

I’ll get her to come next time. Can I come back tomorrow??

Well, I’m full tomorrow. How about Thursday and then it might be better for her if we give her some time to prepare.

Okay, thanks.

Coach bri