CoachBri's Blog - All Forums http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/ Simple:Press Forum Version 4.0.2 pl1602 on An analogy of the self http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/an-analogy-of-the-self/#p27 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/an-analogy-of-the-self/#p27 Yes it is interesting Teresa. I don't remember talking about a balloon. One of the actions of self is to bounce  this off our own experience. If we fall off a step and twist our ankle we don't put that into analogy.  However with psychological things we self reference to possibly avoid the truth. Can I listen to you and get what you are saying?  Yes I see how you experience the popping of self. But when you pop the cell the shell remains. Therefore still the center remains. So are we talking about the same thing? I question that.  Just because the question must be asked. Nothing  personal,  just inquiring therefore everything is personal I guess!
Lov ya,
 bri

]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:39:18 -0800 pl1602 on An analogy of the self http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/an-analogy-of-the-self/#p26 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/an-analogy-of-the-self/#p26 Just wanted to suggest an alternative to Brian's analogy that one's
image of self is a balloon.  The way I am experiencing it, I feel it
as more like a sheet of bubble-wrap with lots of individual cells to
pop.

- Teresa


]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:37:38 -0800 angieshen on "Dying 6-year-old girl leaves love notes behind" http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/dying-6-year-old-girl-leaves-love-notes-behind/#p24 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/dying-6-year-old-girl-leaves-love-notes-behind/#p24 Wanted to share...an article from the star...i couldn't help but cry :(..but it's nice...


http://www.thestar.com/news/wo.....tes-behind


]]> Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:06:01 -0800 angieshen on Help...from a basketball player.... http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/helpfrom-a-basketball-player/#p23 Athletics http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/helpfrom-a-basketball-player/#p23 Hi Bri,

Can you please give some advice to one of my students who is having a hard time with her basketball. She gave me permission to post what she is feeling and would like some help. From you or anyone else out there.

Here is an exerpt from her email to me...

________________________________________

From email #1

heres the thing, i have a bad temper now! i get pissed so easy.. and on top that i hate are high school coach.. shes so grrr!! drives me crazy, and sometimes at practise i wanna punch her.. and this old lady favors ppl, shes so two faced.. a certain 2 ppl are pissing me off.. well they r pissing most of the team off too.. i get so mad sometimes at miss, dat i start slacking and dont work as hard..n another thing that gets to me is that she always discourages me and makes it seem like i aint getting nowhere.. its like she has something againist me.. I honestly wanna punch her..but i no i cant..
And another getting to me is that I cant perform, i have all the skills, a sexy shot a amazing handle that rarely any girls have.. but in a game i cant perform..im so useless.. and its driving me crazyyy..so unnoee wuh to do? how to perform.. 
 
i really wanna shoot her.. man o man.. and this dark tunnel of a place we call world is full of assholes that break your trust.. argg

____________________________________________

From email #2

my house life is way worse than it was before.. my doesnt talk to me, its been three months.. i hate my mom side of the family bcuz its all there fault..
friends are great, me and my best friend fight like crazy thoo..
schools hard, alot of stress since its my last year hopefully.. and den mr saddiq always being on me.. and if im late to one class and not in uniform im off the team.. things are serious..i h8 him so much!!!!!! hes always yelling at me.. 
basically i have control over almost everything i do.. i think.. maybe? 

______________________________________________


Thank Bri and anyone else that can help.

Angie

]]> Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:34:09 -0800 Rich VanHuuizen on Fortunate http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/fortunate/#p22 Open Thoughts & Truisms http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/fortunate/#p22 Level 5, Human Potential Plus Internal Psychology Training.

I can say, without a doubt, that the weekends I spend with Brian doing the training are the highest quality weekends in my life. I look forward to these trainings and leave feeling absolutely fantastic for several reasons.
1) I know that the things that I uncover about my life and my own behaviours will shine a light on why I am where I am.
2) I always gain a deeper understand of how I sabotage the relationships in my life that are most important.
3) Through challenging and breakthrough role plays, I always learn something new about how to better access my own skills of connecting with people in the moment.
4) A hilarious jolt of humour is doused on everyone throughout the weekend when we all discover that, although we think we are different than everyone else, we are all the same. We are simply trying to meet our own needs and ridiculously poor at negotiating those needs with those we live with.
5) Brian. A man who sees things clearly. Who expects everyone to seek out what is true for them rather than simply listening to him speak. A great self-evaluator who sees the importance of showing his own weaknesses and vulnerability to the group. A man with the biggest heart.

Rich VanHuizen
Team Canada
Beach Volleyball

]]> Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:05:30 -0700 angieshen on Teacher's are tired. http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/education/teachers-are-tired/#p20 Education http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/education/teachers-are-tired/#p20 Hey hey lief…

i think you may have misunderstood me…

when i was saying “let's drop that one”…i was referring to my ego…

if i really cared about my students, the image of how other teachers see me would never get in the way…

ang :)

]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:39:29 -0800 Lief on Teacher's are tired. http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/education/teachers-are-tired/#p19 Education http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/education/teachers-are-tired/#p19 Some teachers are waiting for the punishment pendulum to swing back the other way again so they can “put the fear back into students.” I remember my first day teaching. I met an - at first overwhelmingly - bossy 7 year old girl nick-named “Lion.” A tired teacher whispered to me “Doesn’t it make you want to slap her?” And tired me said “Yes.”

Charlie was a 6 year old student of mine who’d always ask eagerly when the next big test was coming up so he could prove himself. I watched him one day as he licked his lips, grabbed the test, sat down, took a look at it… didn’t understand and started to cry. I don’t remember what I said to him but he eventually went back to the test, finished it before anyone else and scored 100%.

I play music quietly and someone says “That’s good!” I start to play louder with a big smile on my face.

When everyone in my grade 10 math class got the solution to a problem except R., the teacher said disappointed and surprised “I made this problem just for you!” And from then on he gave up completely.

You say “I am seeing that I want to give up on the kids that need me the most because i can get away with it and it is easier on me.” Are you just struggling with whom to focus your energy on sometimes? Have you ever had a student who wanted you to give up on her or him? I have to let the punks at the back fend for themselves while I connect with the rest of the class, and hope that once these folks will be rocking out, the punks will want to rock out as well. Yeah they drag the class pace down and steal my thunder. But they are also a test and an opportunity. If you have any little wins with them that's something to celebrate. They may not look you in the eye and admit it but there is that much needed satisfaction and I'd you hope that you'd be a good tired for it.

A young developmentally disabled boy found himself playing baseball and always swinging and missing. But this time, to his surprise, he hit the ball… thought for a second… -and then ran ran ran to first base. The pitcher scooped the ball off the grass and purposely tossed it over the head of the first baseman. The crowd started to call out for the boy to run to second, and then to third, another fumble with the ball and everyone was screaming for the boy to run home. It was an in-field homerun. It was an opportunity to bring the best out in everyone.

I'd like myself and my students struggle along more gamely.

Performance gone wrong.

A man was going to sing the song Shout by Tears for Fears for karaoke at a packed bar/restaurant when a different song named Shout came on. It was obvious the man didn’t know the song at all but he tried to sing/narrate it in a low growly voice anyway. By the end, people he’d never met before with tears of laughter in their eyes came up to shake his hand thanking him.

Ah you know I wrestle with how I am going to be seen by other teachers too. I wear these silly suit jackets that make it annoying to raise my arms above shoulder level. It’s a bit of compensation for still not remembering how to tie a tie. And hey don’t say “let’s drop that one Ang” – it almost takes value away from your truths. I get this Jonathan Livingston Seagull feel from Bri and Angie here so thank you for kindling the fires.

]]> Sun, 07 Dec 2008 17:36:57 -0800 John Leinemann on Fortunate http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/fortunate/#p18 Open Thoughts & Truisms http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/fortunate/#p18 I have been fortunate to just spend a weekend with Brian, one on one. We drove from Toronto to Erie Pennsylvania, to watch his son play hockey. So while we drove, we talked. I explained that I needed to talk to him because I was miserable. I didn't like my job, my dad, my wife, and my life. I wasn't happy. My overall attitude was I just don't give a shit. I was afraid, that due to seventeen years of ulcerative colitis, I would develop cancer and be dead in a few years. I mourned the past, and feared dying. What a waste of time. But time isn't important, life is. What a waste of life.

My parents were not supportive of my dreams after high school. I was told I was going to cooking school instead of art school. About a month after starting cooking school, I developed colitis. Brian asked if somehow I may have chosen my colitis. To get out of something that I didn't want to? To get sympathy? So people would go easy on me? God dammit that is exactly what I am doing. Is it working? No. Am I slowly killing myself? Yes. So what should I do? Maybe I should start living my life. Listen to my emotions. Trust myself. Accept the fact that I am a complete asshole for blaming others for my crappy life. And that I should see that my life isn't that crappy at all.

Anyway, I'm not an avid writer so I'll leave it at that. There is so much to talk about so I will write some more soon.

Thanks,


John

]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:10:20 -0800 coachbri on Abusive relationships... http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/abusive-relationships/#p17 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/abusive-relationships/#p17 My Dear Friend Aimee,
The basic needs are there in everyone -we just meet them differently. What you witnessed is a person satisfying their power need in a way that harms their relationship. When people are disconnected like this guy was and is, this is how we treat people. This is what people do that are disconnected. Hitler, for example, was a troubled soul who came from a background of unmet needs. The shootings you hear about in schools are being carried out by disconnected teens. When people have no need to or can't satisfy their loving and belonging need, they often turn to violence. If their behavior is acted externally you see what you saw this guy do. If it is done internally, they attempt suicide. The sad thing is that this guy is a product of what our society has created, by the way we treat people, telling them to conform and live by external standards and punish and criticize them if they don't. We are all responsible for each other; it is awful what happened to this girl and what would make her choose to be with such a person. She will probably even defend him. You only have to look at her life and I can guarantee she would come from the same disconnected background. Human beings, the world over, act out of anger when their needs are not met. That is one of our favorite choices. You have only to look at your own life to see it. To be the change in the world is not to respond out of anger. Try and see how difficult it is - our external psychology is so strong!
You will understand this guy when you see how angry you are and how you disconnect when you are in pain. At any moment when we let our anger out on someone, they can give up on life, lose it on someone else or kill themselves. This is where change begins. This guy is just an extreme example of what is running around in our own hearts.
Coach bri

]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:41:06 -0800 Vanessa on mediocracy attacks excellence..... http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/mediocracy-attacks-excellence/#p16 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/mediocracy-attacks-excellence/#p16 I am spending a lot of time with people right now as I am back in school and am there a lot it seems. This week, I began to notice something that is always there but really got highlighted.

Strangely enough it all started on a break from class when someone was talking about how a famous person's mother, brother and nephew recently got murdered. I hadn't heard this so my heart was so sad for this person as I immediately thought of my family and can't for the life of me imagine such a happening. When all these sad thoughts were going on in my head, this other girl in the conversation responded that, "I guess she (being the person whose family just got murdered) is going to get fat again."


I was floored. It isn't like I know the person that this horrible thing happened to but that it could happen to anyone saddens me and my thoughts immediately go to hoping (which I know is external but I go there...) that she is able to find peace in all of this.


The moral of this story is....I think women are funny. Being on so many teams with so many girls, I really think women can be so powerful and wonderful, loving, strong, united.....but then on the flip side so caddy and hurtful and jealous.


Something that I look for in a girlfriend or a friend i guess (as my husband is this way so boys are included) is that they can be happy for your happiness. When things are going amazing for you, they aren't upset that things might not be going as well for them or cautioning you to not be so happy....they are there to celebrate with you, give you a hug. I think I like these people because that is the way I am so I guess I like that in return? I just can't imagine not being happy for someone when things are going well for them...when my friends and family are doing well, happy, succeeding - there isn't a better feeling....I think I learn a lot of that from my family as they are so supportive and loving. I guess if I wasn't around that and didn't know how great it felt to be loved and truely supported I wouldn't be the same? I am not sure....


This post seems to be going all over the place....I guess what I am trying to say was that my classmate's comment really rubbed me the wrong way because I perceived it as something like this

" good, now this successful, beautiful woman wont be so good anymore. Now something bad has happened to her and that is good because she won't be as powerful, admired and successful anymore...she is even going to gain weight" I perceived such an undertone of jealousy that I wanted to just be inside this girls head to see how she goes about her daily life because I don't know why someone would want to kick someone, let alone kick someone when they are down. I perceive that as so mean and unhuman almost.


I can only imagine how powerful woman (and the energy in teh world)would be if we let our egos go. If we supported those doing well and said good for you for succeeding, good for you for realizing your dreams, instead of almost resenting there success. I have seen it on so many teams....those that do the best, are those that drop the egos and can truly work together be be better as a whole. I think the world would be a better place if we pushed our egos aside and celebrated with others. Sometimes I just find that mediocracy attacks excellence too much and I find it disappointing.

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:11:41 -0700 Aimee on Abusive relationships... http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/abusive-relationships/#p15 Relationships http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/relationships/abusive-relationships/#p15 I witnessed domestic abuse from the bedroom window, we called police and statements were given for a report. Police left just after 4am and I couldn't fall back asleep. I had a terrible stomach ache like I had tremendous amount of acid eating away my insides, and her high pitched screams of fear ran through my mind over and over again.. sunrise shortly came and I was a zombie trying to go to work and while at work....I felt like a truck hit me yet I was not the one being thrown and punched at like the victim.


The physical attack on her only stopped when the abuser heard my boyfriend yell at him. Was she grateful that somebody called the police and risked his own safety for her own? ..it didn't seem like it, and that pissed me off since that somebody is very quality to me... but I'm sure she wouldn't have been screaming and struggling the way she did if she actually enjoyed it would she???

I think my stomach pains and constant headache comes from my own disgust that this shit happens and I don't understand why.


As the abuser was being arrested and handcuffed, the victim kept yelling to the cops, "I didn't want him to be arrested!" and said "I'm sorry Jason, I'm sorry!" to her abuser.... my guess is that she won't take it to court, the abuser will be released, and once behind closed doors, she will suffer again for "what happened TO him".. I hope that I am wrong.


For the victim how does being in an abusive relationship satisfy the 5 basic needs? zero Freedom, zero Fun, zero Power,... or am I completely wrong... does being yelled at, punched at, and thrown into cars and pavement at 3am fulfill her Love & Belonging needs? does she have a high survival need or low? does she want to be rescued??


I'm very confused....


Aimee

]]> Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:57:40 -0700 kathy on Men and Women what is really going on? http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/men-and-women-what-is-really-going-on/#p14 Open Thoughts & Truisms http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/men-and-women-what-is-really-going-on/#p14 Hi Brian,
I couldn't come up with one word for men last night, because I don't want to include all men together,but this is what I have today. My "category" is - men who are mean. ;-)

(Mean) men are insecure, and in their quest for security they attack and kill each other. Attacks are the belittling, insults, lies, jokes. Killing is done one on one, or group on group, from jelousy, anger, hatred - all insecurity.

To fulfill their power and control over women they create political laws, religious doctrine, and social norms which strip women of their dignity, wisdom, self-reliance, confidence, pride and inner beauty.
What would the world be if women weren't told how to dress, how to behave, if women weren't physically maimed, emotionally scarred, sold as objects, nor compared to unrealistic media images? What is women were honoured, respected, recognized for their wisdom, and were freed not feared?

Men have also learnt that keeping others uneducated, poor, and in fear gives complete control to the dominant. This is true for men against men as well, but consider any group of suppressed women. They have been kept out of schools, they have no means of supporting themselves or getting out of their situation, and their upbringing includes the threat of punishment for any deviance from the prescribed codes. Fear is so ingrained it is part of who they are, and fear dictates their daily lives. Isn't this true to some extent for all women, even those who would deny it -the educated and wealthy included. Are we not all the same?

]]> Sun, 29 Jun 2008 13:43:56 -0700 NATALIE on BRIAN http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/brian/#p13 Open Thoughts & Truisms http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/open-thoughts-truisms/brian/#p13 I have had the previlidge of spending the last 7 weeks with Coach Bri and I am compelled to share and maybe give others (especially those that dont know him) an insight into what he is really like!Wink (only through my eyes obviously, we all know what perception can do to the truth!)


Anyway, I guess this will turn out being a tribute to Coach Bri...


A friend, a smile, a laugh, a pain in the butt, a mirror, fun, happy, bright, loving. Every single day for 7 weeks, I could count on Bri to be one of those things. He provided an environmemt for me to laugh, to cry, to question (self evaluate) and most importantly to be myself. No judgement, no crticism, no pressures, just a space for me to decide what's best for me. His ability to sit with everything, and everyone (as you can read on his recent blogs) is inspiring. He is inspiring. I really like his presence, his way, I really like being around him, a constant reminder of how life can be. Fresh, clean, giving.


I had a great time, Bri, thanks for your love, willingness and your continuous ability to give yourself to all situations. You are a gift from GOD. (like us all)


As I sit in Bangkok airport (No Bundabergs here) on route to Germany I wish you were coming with us, and then a new thought invades my mind....you are with us. Thanks again for everything. See ya at the manor one day soon! Love ya, NATTongue out




]]> Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:27:19 -0700 Sandy Maaskant on Sport more than just sport http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/sport-more-than-just-sport/#p12 Athletics http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/sport-more-than-just-sport/#p12 Tue, 06 May 2008 23:14:23 -0700 angieshen on Sport more than just sport http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/sport-more-than-just-sport/#p11 Athletics http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/forums/athletics/sport-more-than-just-sport/#p11 Wanted to share something with you all...

These are the things that really drive why i love sport so much...

It's so neat to be in a position where I am rival to someone yet because we are rival is why we are the same.


http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3380875


ang ;)

]]> Tue, 06 May 2008 20:26:46 -0700