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<channel>
	<title>CoachBri's Blog</title>
	<atom:link href="http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com</link>
	<description>Learning to read your own book.</description>
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		<title>Addicted to Our Sense of Importance</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/07/12/addicted-to-our-sense-of-importance/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/07/12/addicted-to-our-sense-of-importance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:01:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conformity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[egoism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[external psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[internal psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[violence]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=446</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Human beings are like pudding stones. We are filled with a large range of behaviors, attitudes, intentions that are maintaining us as self-serving. We want to be famous, respected and revered. We are addicted to our own sense of importance; therefore in all things we are indifferent to the needs of others and this leads [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Human beings are like pudding stones. We are filled with a large range of behaviors, attitudes, intentions that are maintaining us as self-serving. We want to be famous, respected and revered. We are addicted to our own sense of importance; therefore in all things we are indifferent to the needs of others and this leads to the practice of external control or the need to control others. To have control over another is a sign of our own shallow intoxication with our self. The need to exert that control creates every form of conformity and violence and the egoism of oppression.  Removing all external psychology is the greatest challenge in our life.  This is very difficult to do because all of society is organized with external psychology. We are taught to identify with the things created by thinking, therefore we think we know what is best for others, how they should change, and we spend our life reacting and therefore keep ourselves in conflict with someone or something. We don&#8217;t want to realize that we are in a prison of our own desire, and desire and its pursuit keep external control in operation.</p>
<p>Desire for anything is a process of thinking and what desire promises never lives up to its promise. The more one develops an appetite for anything and feeds it, the more one can never find satisfaction. There is no internal desire put together by thought. Internal desire is a movement of how we feel in the moment that indicates to us if the behavior we are choosing in this moment is good and helpful to us or painful and detrimental to us.  Internal psychology is a process that holds thinking in its place. Thinking out of its place has created all this conflict and the disconnection that happens in it. We can always practice.</p>
<p>Coach Bri</p>
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		<title>Antidepressant Linked to Suicide of 18 year-old</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/06/12/antidepressant-linked-to-suicide-of-18-year-old/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/06/12/antidepressant-linked-to-suicide-of-18-year-old/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Jun 2010 19:17:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News & Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[antidepressant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paxil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=441</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[from http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2010/06/10/pf-14356871.html
June 11, 2010      
The girl with every  reason to live
By MICHELE MANDEL, Toronto Sun








At graduation, Sara Carlin was a straight-A student who  dreamed of becoming a doctor. (Photo courtesy the Carlin family)




Sara Carlin had everything to live for: She was smart, athletic,  beautiful and pursuing her [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>from http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2010/06/10/pf-14356871.html</p>
<p>June 11, 2010      <!--date ends here--></p>
<div id="xlgheadline"><strong><span style="color: #990000;">The girl with every  reason to live</span></strong></div>
<div id="smtext"><span style="color: #333333;"><strong>By <a href="mailto:michele.mandel@sunmedia.ca">MICHELE MANDEL</a>, Toronto Sun</strong></span></div>
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<div id="xsmtext"><img src="http://www.canoe.ca/CanoeGlobalnav/invisible.gif" alt="" width="4" height="8" /><br />
<strong>At graduation, Sara Carlin was a straight-A student who  dreamed of becoming a doctor. (Photo courtesy the Carlin family)</strong></div>
<p></span></td>
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<p>Sara Carlin had everything to live for: She was smart, athletic,  beautiful and pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor.</p>
<p>But on May 6, 2007, that bright future ended abruptly with a  piece of electrical wire.</p>
<p>The promising 18-year-old had hung herself in her family’s  Oakville basement and her grieving parents blame her suicide on the  Paxil antidepressant she’d been prescribed more than a year before.</p>
<p>In emotional testimony that left many fighting back tears, Sara’s  mother Rhonda told a coroner’s inquest that her daughter earned 90’s in  school, played baseball and women’s hockey, held a part-time job at an  optometrist’s office and tutored other kids in math.</p>
<p>“She was a pretty exceptional girl, she was absolutely loving and  she was beautiful,” her mom proudly recalled Wednesday before the  presiding coroner, Dr. Bert Lauwers. “She really was an exceptional  daughter.”</p>
<p>But in the early part of 2006, Sara began to change. During the  family’s March break vacation to Palm Springs, she wouldn’t get out of  bed most days and got drunk at dinner. “It was so unlike her,” her mom  said.</p>
<p>It was only later that she learned Sara had complained of anxiety and  depression to her family doctor and had recently been prescribed Paxil,  one of the antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake  inhibitors (SSRIs).</p>
<p>“I said, ‘Why on earth, Sara would you be on antidepressants?’ I  was astounded,” she recalled for the five-member jury. “Why, why would  he be giving these to her? This was a wonderful, happy girl.”</p>
<p>While Sara lost her much older brother to a drug overdose in  2000, her mother believed her daughter had coped well with his death and  never wanted the counselling she’d been offered.</p>
<p>So this need for antidepressants, she said, came out of the blue.</p>
<p>“She was very troubled, much more troubled than any of us knew,”  her mother acknowledged.</p>
<p>While her parents repeatedly voiced their reservations about  Paxil, Sara brushed them off, saying her doctor told her it would make  her feel better. “I didn’t even know the horrific side effects of Paxil  at that time,” her mom said. “I certainly didn’t know what I know now.”</p>
<p>Health Canada issued warnings in 2003 and 2004 that prescribing  antidepressants to teens could lead to behavioural or emotional changes  that might put them at increased risk of suicidal behaviour.</p>
<p>Over the next few months, Sara’s behaviour changed even more. She  suddenly quit her job and stopped playing hockey. Her mom said she was  unaware Sara was drinking and doing cocaine; she just knew she wasn’t  herself.</p>
<p>“She was really lethargic and tired and pale. She’d lost weight.  We were concerned. “</p>
<p>Just as she was starting her first year in health sciences at the  University of Western Ontario, Sara was diagnosed with mononeucleosis.  Her parents were almost relieved, hoping it explained the change in  their daughter.</p>
<p>But her downward spiral continued at university to the point  where she had drug debts, was missing classes and was eventually taken  by ambulance to a London emergency room after mixing her prescription  medications with alcohol and cocaine.</p>
<p>She withdrew from school and came home to Oakville.</p>
<p>It was the first time her mom learned Sara was doing coke and was  now on four prescribed medications: Paxil, a second antidepressant,  Ativan and a sleeping pill.</p>
<p>The night before her suicide, Sara held a pre-drink for friends  in her basement and then headed to a local pub where she continued  drinking. A friend eventually drove her home, but not before stopping at  a home where he thinks she picked up drugs.</p>
<p>When her mom found her room empty the next morning, she just  assumed Sara had gone out early for breakfast. As the day wore on, she  and her husband Neil became increasingly worried when no one could  locate her.</p>
<p>“Then I heard Neil just screaming, screaming and you could hear  it all the way in the backyard,” she recalled, the tears rolling down  her face. “Neil was screaming, ‘She hung herself.’”</p>
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		<title>Every Generation Blames the One Before</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/05/04/every-generation-blames-the-one-before/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/05/04/every-generation-blames-the-one-before/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2010 21:00:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tradition]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=436</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If we could look at the world and see what it means to live in this world and reach our potential, I don&#8217;t think many people would say they are reaching it. Humankind seems to be willing to change technology at a colossal rate. However, we still live with the psychology of self and all [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If we could look at the world and see what it means to live in this world and reach our potential, I don&#8217;t think many people would say they are reaching it. Humankind seems to be willing to change technology at a colossal rate. However, we still live with the psychology of self and all its domination that keeps us behaving with animal instincts in the ways we parent, manage people in the work place, teach in our schools, coach athletes and keep a hold over our spouses. This self psychology is made by the process called thinking and our brain, being dominated by this self psychology, is the brainwashing that is the source of time. Humankind fails to see that the brain, being rooted in time, is the cause of all our problems inside and outside, by the endless need to become something better that we are.</p>
<p>But what are the facts? We have taken somewhere around 14 billion years to evolve to the state we are now, called humans. This is a measurement created by humans based on their need to put meaning to their existence. At some point in our evolution it was important to become more skilled at survival or one would die. Sometimes improving your position outside in society is natural. Unfortunately human beings extended this principal inwardly and concluded that “I too must become better”. There we formed a manmade self and the whole psychology of its function.</p>
<p>&#8220;Every generation blames the one before, all of their suffering comes beating at your door&#8221; (Mike and the Mechanics, “The Living Years”). This is a profound statement that encapsulates why human beings are caught in a prison of their own making called the psychology of self. The study of psychology is the so-called science of human behavior. But we have forgotten that this self we have created is a product of thought. Thinking is its mother. Self is born out of thought because thinking is a movement from experience, which gives us knowledge, which then creates memories.  Thinking, and words, are the past, knowledge is the past, memories are the past. Therefore thinking is rooted in the past and rooted in time. Self is a movement of time.</p>
<p>We run from the fact that self, being a movement of the past thinking it’s a movement in the present, is the source of all our anxiety. As self begins to see it is not real but a product of instincts being sustained by the thinking process, a transformation happens. That transformation is the dismantling of the self and all its beliefs, conclusions and images. These are all the children of thinking, which is a movement from the past, which poisons the present. A poisoned present is the psychology of self in action. The action is a process that creates conflict because it has formed all the religions, the political parties, philosophies, countries, etc. This for centuries is our madness leading to self’s biggest organized accomplishment: organized mass murder called war.</p>
<p>Therefore we are at war everyday because self and its psychology is that thing that dominates our life.  Few people are interested in getting at the core of the problem because they refuse to cease all movement or the so called spiritual movement rooted in knowledge. Knowledge, practiced in any direction is the most destructive force of a religious or spiritual life as it creates tradition and all tradition binds humankind to a movement in time. Love, compassion, and insight are movements not created by thought or bound by time. That is the movement lacking in and around our lives and the world at large. We, as separate individuals, are responsible for this!</p>
<p>Declan Brian O’Reilly</p>
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		<title>The Source of All Anxiety</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/04/14/the-source-of-all-anxiety/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/04/14/the-source-of-all-anxiety/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:48:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pleasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[void]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=433</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It was a lovely spring morning. The earth was dark and damp and gave off such a rich, earthy smell. The sky looked so turquoise blue over the lake and on the horizon the colors were so soft with no promise of rain.
We walked for some time in the solitude of the morning. He then [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It was a lovely spring morning. The earth was dark and damp and gave off such a rich, earthy smell. The sky looked so turquoise blue over the lake and on the horizon the colors were so soft with no promise of rain.</p>
<p>We walked for some time in the solitude of the morning. He then began to cry. His tears were large and he felt somewhat embarrassed and foolish.</p>
<p>Let them come sir! It is so cleansing to be vulnerable. You are among friends now.</p>
<p>I sorry for all this, I never thought this would happen, but it is there now and I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness.</p>
<p>Yes sir. Let it be there! Do watch it sir and see all of it without any interruption.</p>
<p>But it feels so… so…</p>
<p>Ugly, sir?</p>
<p>Well, I wasn&#8217;t going to say that but it does make sense, it is kinda ugly.</p>
<p>Sir, most of us live such a self-centered, ugly existence.  We want to be so much more than what we are. We need to have letters after our name so we seek and broadcast all our accreditation to buff us up so we don&#8217;t feels so empty.</p>
<p>That is how I feel &#8211; so insignificant.</p>
<p>Yes sir we are! We live such boring lives, and try to establish some profound, deeper meaning to our existence, when really we are petty, shallow-minded and a slave to desire.</p>
<p>I can see that although I have never put words to it before.</p>
<p>Or we are always wanting to be entertained, taken out of our mediocre, boring lives.</p>
<p>My life is boring. Don&#8217;t get me wrong &#8211; I have done a lot with my life and I am thankful but it all seems to be so heartless. Nothing brings me real satisfaction. I seem to spend my life just active to be active. I feel that I am really running, but don&#8217;t know what from.</p>
<p>Yourself sir!</p>
<p>How do you mean? I have a good job, wife, kids, I meet my responsibilities but it is not enough. I want something more but don&#8217;t know what!</p>
<p>Yes sir, thought in its very nature creates an ego or self and that self is our existence. As it moves it is always comparing, judging, and evaluating and therefore creates a division between you and your life. That division is the movement of pleasure and pain which is what self is. It is nothing more than a movement of pleasure and pain. We or self are that movement and that movement also keeps itself going and creates a sense of void. That deep void within, being the product of self, is where most human beings are caught. This is the prison humanity is caught in. This is his burden, the source of all his confusion. He is always trying to cover it up and in doing so creates conflict. He rejects any other possible way to live. He is in conflict with himself, because thought divides him against himself. It breaks us up into parts of thought, feeling and action. It is the source of all human anxiety sir. To act out of thinking in the world of technology is the only place for thought to act. Any other place, thought is a burden.  In the matter if relationship and of the heart thought has little place, only to communicate. That is all!</p>
<p>It is true that I am lost! That is the feeling of have.</p>
<p>Yes sir, most of humanity is lost. Lost in the vain pursuits of religion, making money, acquiring something to show others and our self we are someone. And for all this we will go to war! Always creating deeper anxiety for all sir!</p>
<p>This has been so helpful. I thought all these things were locked inside and no words to get them out. Why do I feel so much better, when I think I just looked at how ugly I am.</p>
<p>Sir, the truth acts, it is the thing that sets us free. Right sir?</p>
<p>I must come to your discussion in Toronto. Thank you.</p>
<p>No problem sir!</p>
<p>Coach Bri</p>
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		<title>Meditation and the Friday Night Group</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/03/05/meditation-and-the-friday-night-group/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/03/05/meditation-and-the-friday-night-group/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:37:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friday Night Group]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[extern]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[external control psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[internal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meditation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=425</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The day was bright and full of promise. One could feel the warmth of the spring sun on one&#8217;s face. Climbing on the maple trees were small sap flies &#8211; a sure sign of warmer weather. The flies seemed to stay close to the tree but every so often they would spring to life and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The day was bright and full of promise. One could feel the warmth of the spring sun on one&#8217;s face. Climbing on the maple trees were small sap flies &#8211; a sure sign of warmer weather. The flies seemed to stay close to the tree but every so often they would spring to life and hover around the dark creviced bark. The little bugs were more active in the sun. They seemed to delight in its energy and then they landed again and remained perfectly still.</p>
<p>All of nature seems to operate as movement and rest. The whole universe is in a state of meditation. Meditation is deep, radical, and therefore profound. Any time the human mind makes contact with the movement deeper than itself there is instant order. That order is a true internal movement. Very few human beings are interested in the movement that offers no reward or significance to their self-centered egos.</p>
<p>At Friday night group, we all come with a tremendous amount of baggage, of opinions, ideas, and self-centered projections. The significance of Friday night group is established when people are willing to let go of their point of view and find the necessity to empty all of one&#8217;s preconceived notions and ideas to enter a state of dialogue. The dialogue is in itself free from all personal intentions and is a simple movement of discovering an action that can free the mind from having the thinking process as the dominant function of the brain.</p>
<p>In order for this process to be discovered, one must first address all the external psychology dominating their brain, which is the source of all conflict. When the brain is caught in any contradiction, trying to become something that it isn&#8217;t, or trying to achieve a self-projected result, it is a source of disorder and human misery. The intent of Friday night group is to give people a chance to think together, which means the ability to address our human disorder in the personal realm that is responsible for global disorder.</p>
<p>Human beings do not want to see that the soul they have is the creation of external psychology. This means any imposed morals from the outside are not moral. The immoral is a movement from the outside, rules or laws imposed to keep us on a moral path. Why can&#8217;t we face the fact that we are immoral? Yet we cannot choose who we love; we can only choose the behavior we use to express that love. It follows then that we can only choose the behavior to also express hatred, prejudice, fear, anger, anxiety, agreed etc. Very few people are really interested and see the significance that one&#8217;s daily problems are the problems of the world.</p>
<p>I am sure you have heard that saying, “To be in this world but not of this world”. I understand this to mean that even though one thinks, the thinking process is used by something much deeper in the human mind. Therefore thought or the thinking process is a functional process dealing specifically with material in the physical world. Thinking is made out of material processes in the brain. Any process, however grand or so-called sacred, is just an expression of external psychology. The art of dialogue is a group of people, two or more, willing to set aside everything they know and look at things for the first time. This process of emptying is to live in the present and no guru, book, tradition, or ritual can bring about a state of mind that<br />
is internal, orderly, and not practiced. If one sees the disorder that they are caught in completely, the perception of that disorder is the action that is internal psychology. Happy are those who find this.</p>
<p>The shadows from the trees on the snow grow longer as the afternoon deepens; a few squirrels have come down from the tree to check me out. Their inquisitiveness and their hunt for food is impressive &#8211; they seem to move in an attentive state. That level of attention keeps them alive and in a relationship with their environment. If only humans could apply that same attentiveness to the doings of thought! Then we too would be in a state of meditation where psychological problems are not. Friday night group is a place where psychological problems end. In that ending there is a new beginning to bathe in that emptiness is to understand the significance of nothingness. In the universe nothingness is holding everything together.</p>
<p>Coach Bri</p>
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		<title>A Question</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/02/23/a-question/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/02/23/a-question/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:58:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friday Night Group]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[external psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[internal psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=419</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was thinking about what you have said at Friday night group, and I had a flash of what I think may be that order you were talking about. What I saw was that I have been raised in a so-called religious home.  But when I think of all the external control applied by [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was thinking about what you have said at Friday night group, and I had a flash of what I think may be that order you were talking about. What I saw was that I have been raised in a so-called religious home.  But when I think of all the external control applied by my parents I feel that the level of criticism that I received and now practice on my family is what you say is my disorder. I think I see this. My son acts out of his disorder and I add to it. Do I have this correct?</p>
<p>What is the disorder you practice on your son?</p>
<p>Well, it is the same as I practiced on my husband! That anger and frustration!</p>
<p>Yes but are <em>you</em> not the anger and frustration, which is the fact of your disorder?</p>
<p>Yes, so what do I do now? Practice internal psychology, right?</p>
<p>So what do you do in your anger and frustration?</p>
<p>As you have said a thousand times, I choose a behavior that kills the relationships so I am caught in the thinking mode and I have to act it out on someone.</p>
<p>Can you see that choosing a predisposed position is one action that again reinforces the thinking process and external psychology?</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t follow that! Do you mean that practicing an internal psychology is also part of disorder?</p>
<p>No, I don&#8217;t think you can willfully practice an internal psychology.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t understand. Can you make it clearer?</p>
<p>One must come to terms with something!</p>
<p>And that something is?</p>
<p>Your brain, my brain, is caught in a web called consciousness.  It is made up of a self and every person has a self. Self is a product of memory, which is caught in time because self is a product of experience.</p>
<p>Ok I get that! Self is a group of experiences that I gather in the brain as memory. But I have a sense that I have aged and am wiser now than I was 10 years ago!</p>
<p>Yes but you’re not!</p>
<p>How do you know that?</p>
<p>You just have more knowledge about your self but you are still caught in your animal instincts and sustain them by using thought.</p>
<p>Okay I am more sustaining now than I was when I was 20.</p>
<p>Yes, true, but that is proof your not wiser!</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t get this then!!</p>
<p>Yes I know! Look at it! Or don&#8217;t look &#8211; the choice is yours.</p>
<p>No I want to look at it! It is just you piss me off so much.</p>
<p>Yes I know!</p>
<p>See! So you’re doing it on purpose!</p>
<p>No! You are angry now with me, right? Or your son or husband right?</p>
<p>Yes! Yes!</p>
<p>Who is it that is angry?</p>
<p>My self at your self!</p>
<p>So is your self different from your anger?</p>
<p>Yes, there is anger then there is me, my self acting out the anger!</p>
<p>What if you <em>is</em> anger!</p>
<p>Me <em>is</em> anger? I don&#8217;t get that.</p>
<p>You see, external control psychology has built the self out of memory. Self is a bundle of memory stored in the brain called self.</p>
<p>Okay, I see that and I guess it sounds right!</p>
<p>This sense of self is formed from the outside!<br />
If I asked you, who you are, you would say what?</p>
<p>That I am me!</p>
<p>And who is you!</p>
<p>I would say I am a Canadian, a mother, a wife!</p>
<p>Yes and where did you learn that? </p>
<p>I guess from my parents!</p>
<p>Yes, but partly from your environment or society.</p>
<p>Okay! </p>
<p>And that is external from you!</p>
<p>What do you mean by that, “external from you”?</p>
<p>Well, you were conditioned to think you are Canadian.</p>
<p>I am a Canadian!</p>
<p>Yes, when you accept who you are governed by the external thinking. If you were born in the same place 500 years ago, would you still be a Canadian?</p>
<p>Of course I would!</p>
<p>Canada didn’t exist as Canada 500 years ago. The land did but not the conditioning called Canada.</p>
<p>Yes, I see what you’re driving at! How about my beliefs?</p>
<p>They are all put in you then you modify them to suit your experience.</p>
<p>Yes, but I have a belief about the universal energy and reincarnation! That is real!</p>
<p>Real yes, but untrue.</p>
<p>What do you mean? It is true to me. I live by it!</p>
<p>Yes each person lives according to his own belief! But why? Why is believing so important to us? To you or any human being?</p>
<p>Because it gives life meaning?</p>
<p>Okay, how? It only gives you a sense of false security!</p>
<p>Look I believe what I believe and I have the … damn…</p>
<p>Right to! And that right gives one a sense of security, no? </p>
<p>And what is wrong with feeling secure?</p>
<p>Well isn&#8217;t the demand for security a sign of insecurity!</p>
<p>Okay I think I see that?</p>
<p><em>Think</em> you see that? Isn&#8217;t every problem you have with your husband and son you looking for security and if they only did what you said, lived how you want them to, there would be no conflict?</p>
<p>Yes okay, I see it! I see it! I get it!</p>
<p>What is it you get?</p>
<p>When I have problems with them we are in conflict and I see I&#8217;m the source of that conflict. I get that when my belief is there for them my self is there. The feeling of anger and frustration is the self, which is me in action.</p>
<p>Yes, now what can you do about that?</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know? My life is this!</p>
<p>Yes it is! Now can I see that trying to change in any way is to avoid my inner ugliness and the fact that me, anger, frustration is all one clump of self or ego.  So if I try to do anything to self, to change, is the wrong approach. This is self judging self, trying to get out of self, which strengthens self!</p>
<p>You know I think I do that! Strange as it is! That is my life.</p>
<p>Okay, so see the fact and remain with the fact that the self-centered movement is one movement.  Fear is self, hurt is self etc. You can&#8217;t do anything about it. If you do you are creating more conflict.  If you are willing to end all conflict, self and its beliefs no longer fuel external psychology and one comes upon a deep movement not the product of the self. That movement brings order and that order is a new beginning.</p>
<p>I have lots to think about! Thank you!!! </p>
<p>You’re welcome.</p>
<p>Coach bri</p>
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		<title>US Kids Represent Psychiatric Drug Goldmine</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/02/02/us-kids-represent-psychiatric-drug-goldmine/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/02/02/us-kids-represent-psychiatric-drug-goldmine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:58:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News & Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prescriptions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychiatry]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=414</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Saturday 12 December 2009
by: Evelyn Pringle, t r u t h o u t &#124; Report
from http://www.truthout.org/1213091
Prescriptions for psychiatric drugs increased 50 percent with children in the US, and 73 percent among adults, from 1996 to 2006, according to a study in the May/June 2009 issue of the journal Health Affairs. Another study in the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Saturday 12 December 2009</p>
<p>by: Evelyn Pringle, t r u t h o u t | Report<br />
from <a href="http://www.truthout.org/1213091">http://www.truthout.org/1213091</a></p>
<p>Prescriptions for psychiatric drugs increased 50 percent with children in the US, and 73 percent among adults, from 1996 to 2006, according to a study in the May/June 2009 issue of the journal Health Affairs. Another study in the same issue of Health Affairs found spending for mental health care grew more than 30 percent over the same ten-year period, with almost all of the increase due to psychiatric drug costs.</p>
<p>On April 22, 2009, the US Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality reported that in 2006 more money was spent on treating mental disorders in children aged 0 to 17 than for any other medical condition, with a total of $8.9 billion. By comparison, the cost of treating trauma-related disorders, including fractures, sprains, burns, and other physical injuries, was only $6.1 billion.</p>
<p>In 2008, psychiatric drug makers had overall sales in the US of $14.6 billion from antipsychotics, $9.6 billion off antidepressants, $11.3 billion from antiseizure drugs and $4.8 billion in sales of ADHD drugs, for a grand total of $40.3 billion.</p>
<p>The path to child drugging in the US started with providing adolescents with stimulants for ADHD in the early 80s. That was followed by Prozac in the late 80s, and in the mid-90s drug companies started claiming that ADHD kids really had bipolar disorder, coinciding with the marketing of epilepsy drugs as &#8220;mood stablizers&#8221; and the arrival of the new atypical antipsychotics.</p>
<p>Parents can now have their kids declared disabled due to mental illness and receive Social Security disability payments and free medical care, and schools can get more money for disabled kids. The bounty for the prescribing doctors and pharmacies is enormous and the CEOs of the drug companies are laughing all the way into early retirement.</p>
<p><strong>Psychiatric Drugs Explained</strong></p>
<p>During an interview with Street Spirit in August 2005, investigative journalist and author of &#8220;Mad in America,&#8221; Robert Whitaker, described the dangers of psychiatric drugs. &#8220;When you look at the research literature, you find a clear pattern of outcomes with all these drugs,&#8221; he said, &#8220;you see it with the antipsychotics, the antidepressants, the anti-anxiety drugs and the stimulants like Ritalin used to treat ADHD.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;All these drugs may curb a target symptom slightly more effectively than a placebo does for a short period of time, say six weeks,&#8221; Whitaker said. However, what &#8220;you find with every class of these psychiatric drugs is a worsening of the target symptom of depression or psychosis or anxiety, over the long term, compared to placebo-treated patients.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;So even on the target symptoms, there&#8217;s greater chronicity and greater severity of symptoms,&#8221; he reports, &#8220;And you see a fairly significant percentage of patients where new and more severe psychiatric symptoms are triggered by the drug itself.&#8221;</p>
<p>Whitaker told Street Spirit that the rate of Americans disabled by mental illness has skyrocketed since Prozac came on the market in 1987, and reports: (1) the number of mentally disabled people in the US has been increasing at a rate of 150,000 people per year since 1987, (2) that represents an increase of 410 new people per day and (3) the disability rate has continued to increase and one in every 50 Americans is disabled by mental illness.</p>
<p>The statistics above beg the question of how could this happen when the so-called new generation of &#8220;wonder drugs&#8221; arrived on the market during the exact same time period. The truth is, the &#8220;wonder drugs&#8221; cause most of the bizarre behaviors listed by doctors to warrant a mental illness disability.</p>
<p><strong>Psychiatric Drug Goldmine</strong></p>
<p>The CIA &#8220;World Factbook&#8221; estimate the world population to be about 6.8 billion and the US population to be a mere 307 million. In an April 2008 report, the market research firm Datamonitor reported that the &#8220;US dominates the ADHD market with a 94 percent market share.&#8221;</p>
<p>ADHD drug prices at a middle dose for 90 pills at DrugStore.com, are: Adderall $278, Concerta $412, Desoxyn $366, Strattera $464 and Vyvanse $385. Daytrana costs $437 for three boxes of 30 nine-hour patches.</p>
<p>The SSRI and SNRI antidepressants include GlaxoSmithKline&#8217;s Paxil and Wellbutrin, Pfizer&#8217;s Zoloft, Celexa and Lexapro from Forest Labs, Luvox by Solvay, Wyeth&#8217;s Effexor and Pristiq and Lilly&#8217;s Prozac and Cymbalta. The average price of these drugs is about $300 for 90 pills at DrugStore.com.</p>
<p>The prices for anticonvulsants can run as high as $929 for 180 tablets of Glaxo&#8217;s Lamictal, and $1170 for 180 tablets of Johnson &#038; Johnson&#8217;s Topamax.</p>
<p>In 2008, the atypical antipsychotics took over the slot as the top revenue earners in the US, and include Seroquel by AstraZeneca; Risperdal and Invega marketed by Janssen, a division of J&#038;J; Geodon by Pfizer; Abilify from Bristol-Myers Squibb; Novartis&#8217; Clozaril and Eli Lilly&#8217;s Zyprexa. The average price on these drugs for 100 pills at DrugStore.com is about $1,000. Lilly also sells Symbyax, a drug with Zyprexa and Prozac combined, at a cost $1,564 for 90 capsules at DrugStore.com in May 2009.</p>
<p>The briefing material submitted to an FDA advisory panel in April 2009 reported that an estimated 25.9 million patients worldwide had been exposed to Seroquel since its launch in 1997 through July 31, 2007, in the US, and the second quarter of 2007 for countries outside the US. Of that number, an estimated nearly 15.9 million took Seroquel in the US, compared to only ten million patients in the rest of the world. In 2008, the US accounted for roughly $3 billion of Seroquel&#8217;s $4.5 billion in worldwide sales.</p>
<p>For the full-year of 2008, Eli Lilly reported worldwide Zyprexa sales of about $4.7 billion, with US sales of $2.2 billion and only $2.5 billion for the rest of the world.<br />
<strong><br />
FDA as Promotional Tool</strong></p>
<p>On June 12, 2009, an FDA advisory panel gave the green light to expand the marketing of Zyprexa, Seroquel and Geodon for use with 13 to 17 year-olds diagnosed with schizophrenia and 10 to 17 year-olds diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The FDA usually follows its advisers&#8217; recommendations.</p>
<p>&#8220;Such approval gives manufacturers a shield from liability &#8211; for illegally promoting the drugs for off-label use,&#8221; said Vera Hassner Sharav, president of the Alliance for Human Research Protection.</p>
<p>&#8220;And such approval ensures increased use of these drugs,&#8221; she warned. &#8220;Manufacturers and mental health providers will profit while children&#8217;s physical and mental health will be sacrificed.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;The body of evidence showing these drugs to be harmful is irrefutable,&#8221; she said, &#8220;it is documented in FDA&#8217;s postmarketing database, and in secret internal company documents uncovered during litigation.&#8221;</p>
<p>According to Dr. Stefan Kruszewski, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, the atypicals increase the risk of obesity, type II diabetes, hypertension, heart attacks and stroke.</p>
<p>He said the drugs were marketed as safer and easier to tolerate than the older, cheaper antipsychotics because they would cause fewer neurological injuries like tardive dyskinesia and akathisia.</p>
<p>Those claims turned out to be totally false, he said, and &#8220;they continue to cause same neurological side-effects as the older antipsychotics.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Children are known to be compliant patients and that makes them a highly desirable market for drugs, especially when it pertains to large-profit-margin psychiatric drugs, which can be wrought with issues of non-compliance because of their horrendous side effect profiles,&#8221; according to a June 29, 2009 paper titled, &#8220;Drugging Our Children to Death,&#8221; in Health News Digest.com, by Gwen Olsen, who spent over a decade as a pharmaceutical sales rep, and authored the book, &#8220;Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher.&#8221;</p>
<p>Children are forced to take their drugs by doctors, parents and school personnel, she said. &#8220;So, children are the ideal patient-type because they represent refilled prescription compliance and &#8216;longevity.&#8217;&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;In other words,&#8221; Olsen noted, &#8220;they will be lifelong patients and repeat customers for Pharma!&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;The initiative to drug our children for profit has exceeded all common sense boundaries and is threatening the welfare of every American child,&#8221; she stated, and it &#8220;is up to each and every one of us to stop this madness!&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Drug Makers Busted</strong></p>
<p>Most all of the psychiatric drug companies have come under investigation over the past several years for promoting their drugs for off-label use, especially with children. However, the fines they end up paying are trivial compared to the profits earned through the illegal marketing campaigns.</p>
<p>In September 2007, Bristol-Myers Squibb entered into a $515 million civil settlement with the US Department of Justice for illegally marketing drugs, including Abilify, for off-label uses. In the first six months of 2009, Abilify had sales of $1.9 billion. In 2008, the salary and compensation package of Bristol-Myers&#8217; CEO, James Cornelius, was $23,150,236, according to the AFL-CIO&#8217;s Executive PayWatch Database.</p>
<p>On January 29, 2009, Paxil and Wellbutrin maker, GlaxoSmithKline, announced that it would record a legal charge in the fourth quarter of 2008 of $400 million relating to an ongoing investigation initiated by the US attorney&#8217;s office in Colorado into the US marketing and promotional practices for several products for the period 1997 to 2004. The government inquired about alleged off-label marketing as well as medical education programs for doctors, &#8220;other speaker events, special issue boards, advisory boards, speaker training programmes, clinical studies, and related grants, fees, travel and entertainment,&#8221; according to a Glaxo annual report.</p>
<p>In January 2009, Eli Lilly settled with the DOJ and more than 30 states for $1.4 billion over the off-label marketing of Zyprexa. The agreement included a $615 million fine for a federal criminal charge. But $1.4 billion was chump change considering that Zyprexa was still Lilly&#8217;s best seller in 2008, with sales of $4.69 billion. Lilly also has paid over $1 billion to settle lawsuits filed by Zyprexa patients. In the first six months of 2009, Zyprexa sales were $1.5 billion. In 2008, Lilly&#8217;s CEO, John Lechleiter, had a pay package worth $12,856,882</p>
<p>In September 2009, the DOJ reached a $2.3 billion settlement with Pfizer related to the off-label promotion of several drugs, including the psychiatric drugs, Geodon, Zoloft and Lyrica, in the largest health-care fraud settlement in history. But even though Pfizer took the entire $2.3 billion as an earnings charge for the fourth quarter of 2008, the drug maker was still able to post a fourth quarter profit of $268 million. Pfizer&#8217;s CEO in 2008, Jeffrey Kindler, had a salary and pay package of $15,547,600.</p>
<p>Johnson &#038; Johnson is also dealing with the DOJ and state-level investigations into the off-label marketing of Risperdal. The company&#8217;s latest SEC filing lists nine subpoenas received by the company involving promotions of Risperdal, including one &#8220;seeking information regarding the Company&#8217;s financial relationship with several psychiatrists.&#8221; In the first six months of 2009, Risperdal earned $660 million. J&#038;J&#8217;s CEO, William Weldon, had a pay package worth $29,127,432 in 2008.</p>
<p>AstraZeneca&#8217;s third quarter SEC filing lists a $520 million tentative settlement agreement with the US attorney&#8217;s office in Philadelphia to resolve allegations related to the off-label marketing of Seroquel. At &#8220;least 34 states are pursuing separate investigations of AstraZeneca&#8217;s marketing practices as part of a joint investigation and others may be conducting their own probes,&#8221; according to Ed Silverman on Pharmalot.</p>
<p>&#8220;A half a billion dollar one-time settlement is just a small cost of doing business for a company that sold $17 billion worth of the offending drug in the last five years,&#8221; Dr. Roy Poses points out on the Health Care Renewal web site. In 2008 alone, Seroquel had world-wide sales of more than $4.4 billion.</p>
<p>As of July 13, 2009, AstraZeneca was also defending approximately 10,381 served or answered personal injury lawsuits and approximately 19,391 plaintiff groups involving Seroquel, according to SEC filings. Some of the cases also include claims against other drug makers such as Eli Lilly, Janssen Pharmaceutica and/or Bristol-Myers Squibb, the filing notes.</p>
<p>On September 23, 2009, Shire Pharmaceuticals received a subpoena from the US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General in coordination with the US attorney for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania, seeking production of documents related to the sales and marketing of Adderall XR, Daytrana and Vyvanse, according to Shire&#8217;s third quarter report for 2009.</p>
<p>In a November 6, 2009, SEC filing, Abbott Labs said the federal prosecutor for the Western District of Virginia was conducting an investigation for the US Justice Department of whether the company&#8217;s sales and marketing of Depakote violated civil or criminal laws, including the Federal False Claims Act and an anti-kickback statute related to reimbursement by Medicare and Medicaid programs to third parties.</p>
<p>In 2008, Depakote had sales of $1.36 billion and Abbott CEO, Miles White, had a salary and compensation package of $28,253,387.</p>
<p>In February 2009, the DOJ unsealed a lawsuit alleging that Forest Laboratories marketed the antidepressants Celexa and Lexapro for unapproved uses in children, and paid kickbacks to induce doctors to promote the drugs, including Dr. Jeffrey Bostic at Harvard University. In its latest SEC filing, Forest disclosed that it reached an agreement in principle in May 2009 to settle the civil aspects of US federal and state probes. &#8220;Penalties in the civil settlement are covered by a $170 million reserve Forest created in April,&#8221; according to a November 9 report by Dow Jones.</p>
<p>Forest also disclosed that the agreement &#8220;does not resolve the government&#8217;s ongoing investigation into potential criminal law violations&#8221; related to Celexa and Lexapro, and thyroid drug Levothroid, Dow Jones notes. In 2008, the salary and compensation for Forest CEO, Howard Solomon, was $6,565,324.</p>
<p>Over the past year and a half, a large number of so-called &#8220;Key Opinion Leaders&#8221; in the field of psychiatry have been exposed for not fully disclosing money received from many of the drug companies above through an investigation by the US Senate Finance Committee under the leadership of Iowa Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley.</p>
<p>The list so far includes Harvard University&#8217;s Joseph Biederman, Thomas Spencer and Timothy Wilens; Charles Nemeroff and Zackery Stowe from Emory; Melissa DelBello at the University of Cincinnati; Alan Schatzberg, president of the American Psychiatric Association from Stanford; Martin Keller at Brown University; Karen Wagner and Augustus John Rush from the University of Texas and Fred Goodwin, the former host of a radio show called &#8220;Infinite Minds,&#8221; broadcast by National Pubic Radio.</p>
<p><strong>Fines as a Business Expense</strong></p>
<p>The fraud settlements are &#8220;merely a cost of doing business to these pharmaceutical Goliaths and, in fact, caps their liability for these crimes,&#8221; said Alaskan attorney Jim Gottstein, the leader of the Law Project for Psychiatric Rights (PsychRights), a public interest law firm.</p>
<p>&#8220;Most importantly,&#8221; he noted, &#8220;these settlements have not stopped the practice of psychiatrists and other prescribers giving these drugs to children and youth and Medicaid continuing to pay for these fraudulent claims.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Because of the massive, harmful, increase in the psychiatric drugging of America&#8217;s children and youth, who are inherently forced, PsychRights has made addressing the problem a priority,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>Gottstein conducted an investigation and determined that the vast majority of off-label psychotropic drug prescriptions for children and youth that are paid for by Medicaid constitute Medicaid fraud.</p>
<p>PsychRights now has a national &#8220;Medicaid Fraud Initiative Against Psychiatric Drugging of Children &#038; Youth,&#8221; designed to address this problem by &#8220;having lawsuits brought against the doctors prescribing these harmful, ineffective drugs, their employers, and the pharmacies filling these prescriptions and submitting them to Medicaid for reimbursement,&#8221; according to its web site.</p>
<p>&#8220;Anyone who submits or causes claims to be submitted to Medicaid for drugs that are not for a &#8216;medically accepted indication&#8217; is committing Medicaid Fraud,&#8221; said Gottstein, in a July 27, 2009 press release announcing the launch of the national campaign.</p>
<p>&#8220;Those guilty of this Medicaid Fraud include psychiatrists and other physicians prescribing these drugs, their employers, and pharmacies submitting the false claims to Medicaid,&#8221; he pointed out.</p>
<p>PsychRights estimates that over $2 billion in such fraudulent Medicaid claims are being paid by the government each year.</p>
<p>&#8220;Once one sues over specific offending prescriptions, all of such prescriptions can be brought in, which means that any psychiatrist on the losing end of such a lawsuit will almost certainly be bankrupted, because each offending prescription carries a penalty of between $5,500 and $11,000,&#8221; PsychRights explained.</p>
<p>It is hoped that once the doctors and pharmacies realize they are subject to financially ruinous Medicaid fraud judgments, the practice will be stopped or substantially reduced.</p>
<p>&#8220;Each prescriber may have a million dollars or few, at most, to lose, but the pharmacies&#8217; financial exposure can run into the hundreds of millions of dollars and it is hoped this will attract attorneys to take these cases,&#8221; the web site noted.</p>
<p>In September and October 2009, Gottstein gave presentations on the initiative at the annual conferences of the National Association of Rights Protection and Advocacy and the International Center for the Study of Psychiatry and Psychology in order to find people who are potentially interested and willing to pursue such cases.</p>
<p>&#8220;This was successful and we have at least a few such cases cooking,&#8221; he reported. &#8220;PsychRights stands ready to help people interested in bringing such suits.&#8221;</p>
<p>In late 2006, Gottstein won international fame by subpoenaing and releasing thousands of documents involving Eli Lilly&#8217;s illegal marketing of Zyprexa, which resulted in front page stories in The New York Times.</p>
<p>PsychRights also has an appeal pending on a lawsuit filed against the state of Alaska and responsible state officials seeking declaratory and injunctive relief that Alaskan children and youth on Medicaid have the right not to be administered psychotropic drugs unless and until a number of specific conditions are met. The lawsuit seeks to prohibit the state from paying for psychiatric drugs prescribed off-label to children and youth.</p>
<p>In responding to the lawsuit, the state claimed that they do have any control over or responsibility for the psychiatric drugging of children in their custody, or any responsibility under Medicaid, and moved for dismissal on the grounds that PsychRights does not have standing, or the right to bring the suit, because it was not harmed by the state&#8217;s actions.</p>
<p>The court agreed and dismissed the case. &#8220;We think the judge is wrong and have filed an appeal,&#8221; said Gottstein.</p>
<p>In May 2009, Gottstein sent letters to Sens. Charles Grassley and Herb Kohl and Reps. Henry Waxman, Bart Stupak, John Dingell and Barney Frank, describing the massive Medicaid fraud involved in the prescribing of psychiatric drugs to children in the US and asked for &#8220;assistance in stopping these illegal reimbursements.&#8221;</p>
<p>As of November 8, 2009, Gottstein reported, &#8220;I haven&#8217;t gotten as much as an acknowledgment of receipt from any of the members of Congress to whom I wrote.&#8221;</p>
<p>While pursuing causes on behalf of PsychRights, Gottstein donates all of his time on a pro bono basis.</p>
<p>from <a href="http://www.truthout.org/1213091">http://www.truthout.org/1213091</a><br />
via Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license</p>
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		<title>The Affair</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/01/19/the-affair/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/01/19/the-affair/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:11:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nagging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unmet needs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=411</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome. I&#8217;m Brian. How can I be of use?
Hi. You spoke at our center on relationships and I have just gone through a terrible time with my husband and from what you said I think I am to blame for some of our problems. I felt very upset after you talked but I also felt [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome. I&#8217;m Brian. How can I be of use?</p>
<p>Hi. You spoke at our center on relationships and I have just gone through a terrible time with my husband and from what you said I think I am to blame for some of our problems. I felt very upset after you talked but I also felt some relief. It seemed to bring some understanding to my situation. My husband was there and he came over and apologized after your talk. He had tears in his eyes and I have never seen him cry, ever. And I mean ever.</p>
<p>How long have you been married?</p>
<p>Eighteen years with two kids and a dog!</p>
<p>So what brings you to talk today?</p>
<p>Well, he and my brother’s ex wife had an affair.</p>
<p>I see. How did you hear about it?</p>
<p>He told me! He was very straight up about it about a week after it happened. He told me at breakfast. After he said “I took out the garbage honey “, he added, “By the way, I should tell you I have done something really bad”. So that was that. Like he broke my favorite vase or something.</p>
<p>What did you do?</p>
<p>Nothing, until he told me who it was, then I was very silent. Till I called you.</p>
<p>So you haven&#8217;t talked a lot since? How does that feel?</p>
<p>No so good!</p>
<p>What have you been thinking about?</p>
<p>Just how things in our life are just the same, we even sleep in the same bed. In fact, I hate to admit it but it is better now than it has been in a long time.</p>
<p>Okay, that’s good that it’s better, but better than what? No one comes to a counselor after an affair to tell them they how found marital bliss!</p>
<p>It is far from bliss but I did say it was better.</p>
<p>Better than what?</p>
<p>All the fighting we were doing! His demands, my demands, nothing new!</p>
<p>Nothing new maybe but was your marriage working before the affair?</p>
<p>No! Same old, same old that married couples feel I guess.</p>
<p>It’s not the same old same old now is it?</p>
<p>No!</p>
<p>So what is it?</p>
<p>Well it is kinda exciting, not the affair part but for some reason I feel shocked and more attracted to him again! Does that sound crazy? Like I&#8217;m shocked he did it! But it kinda makes me rethink things. I&#8217;m crazy, maybe stressed out or something.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think you’re crazy. Far from it!</p>
<p>Have you had this before?</p>
<p>People have affairs for all kinds of reasons but in every case I have worked with, they are a sign of unmet needs in a relationship.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think we had any unmet needs in ours.</p>
<p>You said earlier that you feel you have some part in that relationship. Can you talk about that?</p>
<p>I&#8217;m just a bitch I guess is the best way to describe it. I never kinda speak very nice to him. We have grown apart maybe; we just don&#8217;t do anything together.</p>
<p>How do you feel about that?</p>
<p>That&#8217;s the strange thing &#8211; it never did before the affair but now I don&#8217;t like who I am with him and our marriage is not too good.</p>
<p>Just a minute, your marriage wasn&#8217;t good before the affair. You weren&#8217;t happy about it.</p>
<p>How do you know that?</p>
<p>Well, you said you didn&#8217;t treat him well, and that you were a bitch! Do you think happy people are bitchy?</p>
<p>No I guess not!</p>
<p>So after the affair what changed about you?</p>
<p>I wasn&#8217;t the same old bitch!</p>
<p>So how do you feel about that?</p>
<p>I feel better; I really dumped on him a lot!</p>
<p>How?</p>
<p>Nagging I guess, because he wouldn’t listen to me!</p>
<p>Would you want to talk to someone who is always nagging you?</p>
<p>No I guess not! But he’s the one that had the affair! It’s not my fault!!</p>
<p>When he came up to you and said sorry and had tears in his eyes, what did you think?</p>
<p>I thought he loved me and he was sorry!</p>
<p>Sorry for what?</p>
<p>Well he told me that night!</p>
<p>What did he tell you?</p>
<p>That he&#8217;s sorry for not being there for me and he just can&#8217;t fight anymore!</p>
<p>Okay, so do you believe him?</p>
<p>Yes! Yes I do?</p>
<p>And the affair?</p>
<p>I know her. She a drinker and always liked him and she threw herself at him!</p>
<p>Do you know that for sure?</p>
<p>No and I don&#8217;t want to know!</p>
<p>Why not?</p>
<p>It’s happened, it’s over and he feels bad enough. I can see that and I know what she&#8217;s like. Do you think I can make it work?</p>
<p>Hell girl, you have a pretty good approach to all this but a marriage is two people willing to make it work.</p>
<p>So you don&#8217;t think this is strange, and I’m losing it?</p>
<p>No. What matters is how you see it and what you want and what you’re willing to do to have a better marriage and I think I can help you guys.</p>
<p>Well, he wanted to come and see you but I need to come first. I wanted to know I was okay.</p>
<p>I think this is one of those times when an affair can help people to choose to have a better marriage.  And I think you’re on the right track. Would you both be able to come and see me together?</p>
<p>Yes I would like that!</p>
<p>Good, so would I.</p>
<p>He went to a doctor before and he gave him some pills for depression, but my husband wouldn&#8217;t take them. After he heard you talk he felt he had made the right choice, even though he thought his depression made him have an affair.</p>
<p>No I don&#8217;t think depressed people do that! I haven&#8217;t seen any anyway.</p>
<p>Thanks again. Can I come back next week?</p>
<p>Sure. Talk to your husband and we will set up a time.</p>
<p>Coach bri</p>
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		<title>The Greatest Travesty</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/01/19/the-greatest-travesty/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2010/01/19/the-greatest-travesty/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:43:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brain drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychiatry]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=408</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The world is now embarking on the greatest travesty ever committed against humanity. Human beings will be willing to take this step, as millions already have, even though the warning signs are in your face and disclaimers offer sudden death. It gives people the best possible excuse so they don&#8217;t have to take any responsibility [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The world is now embarking on the greatest travesty ever committed against humanity. Human beings will be willing to take this step, as millions already have, even though the warning signs are in your face and disclaimers offer sudden death. It gives people the best possible excuse so they don&#8217;t have to take any responsibility for their choices, in action, thoughts, or feelings. It has now changed the very structure of some people’s genes, and will create, as it has already, people who are unable to have compassion and empathy for others. It turns humans into machine-like creatures who are desensitized to violence and fit well into the war machine to keep the rich making profit and the religious fanatics drooling. It hides in the womb of psychiatry and was invented without any pathology. It is used as the trump card when needed against any person who dares to think for themselves and is unhappy because their relationships and their relationship to the world is painful. It is called mental illness! It is the great cancer of drug companies that use the world of psychiatry and its authority to infect people with the idea that happiness is a state of mind not based on loving and caring relationships. The field of psychiatry cripples everything is touches when it holds up brain drugs as an answer to psychological problems, such as depression, anxiety, fear, poor esteem, anger, hurt and being disconnected. Brain drugs numb you out so you can’t respond to pure pleasure or pure pain. They prevent you from finding what works for you in relationship with people and things and ideas. And if you can’t do that you are no longer human!</p>
<p>Coach Bri </p>
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		<title>Holiday Observations</title>
		<link>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2009/12/22/holiday-observations/</link>
		<comments>http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/2009/12/22/holiday-observations/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:40:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>pl1602</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[About Ourselves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coachbri.humanpotentialplus.com/?p=405</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It was a still night. All the earth was asleep and even in the winter the streets held their own enchantment. It was a good time to get out and walk the streets of Varna, this small town with only a few streets.  The shops were all closed and Christmas was the theme in the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It was a still night. All the earth was asleep and even in the winter the streets held their own enchantment. It was a good time to get out and walk the streets of Varna, this small town with only a few streets.  The shops were all closed and Christmas was the theme in the few windows. There was a dusting of snow from the early evening that seemed to warm the ground. But now, well past midnight in that absolute stillness, the brain was fighting to keep thinking and the mind was watching thought interfere with perception. Eventually thought had no place, and vulnerability and strength were in everything.  The softness of the streetlight seemed to light millions of tiny diamonds as the ground took on a delicate shimmer of waves. The cars that approached from the distance broke the enchantment of the evening like thoughts that enter perception and kill one’s mood.  As they passed the evening slowly returned to its own stillness from the intruder. One could watch the lights for miles and the darkness seem to swallow the vehicles.</p>
<p>Christmas was only a few days away, the children would all be home and I felt the ache for those who had no one. The rich, the poor, the war torn places and all the indifference caused by humanity could not touch that stillness. It was unconcerned with humankind because it had no place for selfishness of any kind. The religious, the politicians, the false hope of The Secret and the born again would all tremble in its presence. To be nothing inwardly, to have no defense linked to any idea of how oneself or anyone else should live or be is freedom. That stillness has no cause, whereas Christmas and all the holidays of any religion, however sacred, are caused by the thinking of humankind. These holidays are invented by man to build a path to that stillness. But the stillness demands to be without ego, or self, which is tradition.</p>
<p>Humankind’s greatest tradition is to form a self and it splits into a trillion self-offerings, each self a false sense of security. People break relationship whenever their process of living become more or less than anyone else&#8217;s.  People getting together for Christmas or anytime is great if relationship with compassion is directing the interactions. Only here are people safe! For many people Christmas is a time to get stoned or pissed, to cover up the pain of the memories of unmet needs of Christmases past.  Try to remain clean and get close to the people in your life you’re disconnected from. Reach out to those who are hurting but do it clean and sober. Drugs we invented for the unhappy by the unhappy and you were one born without them and lived happier than you are now.</p>
<p>The evening was so clear and open. I took my time and walked back to my house to a warm fire and cozy chair. I sat there for some time until  sleep over took me.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas.</p>
<p>Coach bri</p>
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