CoachBri’s Blog

We just completed a level 3 this past weekend…what an amazing experience. Just when you think you couldn’t get any deeper…there’s more…

It is amazing…i dont know what it is..but..something is different inside. Like there is a shift and i can hear more… or i guess its listen better…Or maybe its jsut that i am finally accepting the fact that i know shit all! that i could never possibly know wuts best for antoher..and thus finally letting go of my ego insisting on being the saviour that does!

but then…as i say this…i know i am a hypocrite..and full of shit…

this is indicated by the fact that as good as i feel about my improvements in listening and coaching skills…how much of it is real if i dont choose to use it when i am interacting with my family. why is that? what is that? what is this fine line that seems to exist defining the seperation between why i find it that much more difficult to drop my ego with the people that i love and care about the most? but then for others i’ll bend over backwards to make sure they don’t get a “wrong”, “bad” impression of angie….

damn my ego is massive…

thoughts?

ang

The following article was taken from a web log I happened to find the other night. It details what happens when people  use medication to help them with their difficulties. Many of the stories and examples are quite tragic. Warning: it’s a fairly lengthy article.

Read the rest of this entry »

“If they say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, where is the man with so much knowledge that he is out of danger?”

- adapted from the original quote by T.H. Huxley

Peter

” I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”

- comedian Emo Philips

Peter

I found the following quotes in a magazine recently and I thought they were worth sharing:

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays. – Cathy Ladman

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the same sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. – H.L. Mencken

They were so strong in their beliefs that there came a time when it hardly mattered what exactly those beliefs were; they all fused into a single stubbornness. – Louise Erdrich

You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. – A. Lamott

While I was young, when I burned with the love of God, I thought I would convert the whole world to God. But soon I realized taht it would be more than enough to convert the people who lived in my town, and I made an effort for a long time, but was not successful. Then I realized that my agenda was still too ambitious, and I focused on the people in my household. But I could not convert them either. Finally I realized: I must work on myself, if I’m really going to have some to offer God. But I didn’t even accomplish this. ; — Rabbi Chaim Halberstam

Peter

My brother gave me a copy of “A Course In Miracles: An Introduction” by Kenneth Wapnick, for Christmas.

At first glance, I was rather skeptical of what was in this little book, seeing a lot of references to the Bible and to God. Is this another religion or would it help me see beyond religion? Would it help me “read my own book”? Looking a little deeper into it, I realized that the material bears similarity to what we have talked about at the Friday Night Group. Here is a quote from page 50 of Wapnick’s book:

The ego is very attracted to feeling guilty, and its reason is obvious once you remember what the ego is. The ego’s rationale for its advice to deny and project is based on the following: The ego is nothing more than a belief, and it is a belief in the reality of the separation. The ego is the false self that seemingly came into being when we separated ourselves from God. Therefore, as long as long as we believe that the separation is real, the ego is in business.

I see myself doing this kind of thing all the time, whether separating myself from others (who, in my world, can be considered the manifestation of God) either physically or psychologically. It is curious how the ego wants to point out how well others do it and then maintain itself in an innocent state. I personally can’t even maintain attention to my own anger (which Wapnick says is the result of projecting our guilt) without thinking about someone else’s ways of manifesting anger.

Peter

I too received many insights during the HPP Level 1 course. I found that the discussions about needs, and each person’s Quality World, in particular, shook my world. Listening to others often brings up our own issues. This was the case when someone related their habit of trying to gain attention, through complaining and ranting, I realized that I also employ these same ineffective behaviours in an effort to meet my need for control. However rather than achieve this, I create distance between myself and others. The challenge is to find more constructive ways in which to meet my control needs.

In learning about the Quality World each person creates, some of the participants came to the conclusion that they were not present in their own Quality World. This was very revealing since it indicated that our failure to meet our own needs had a lot to do with not taking ourselves seriously enough. Having lost touch with our needs we became confused, and decision making extremely problematic. Women, I believe, are more prone to this than men. We place our needs on the back burner while helping others focus on theirs. However, if I am responsible for meeting my own needs, then others are responsible for theirs. Furthermore, by not working at meeting our own needs we teach our children to not meet theirs.

Putting ourselves back into our Quality World means getting in touch with our needs, and learning how to meet those needs effectively.

During the weekend it was also great to meet some wonderful people, and enjoy the fine hospitality of Sandy and John.

Lucy

After the second weekend with Brian many things are much clearer.  Something that is on loud speaker inside me is that very few people are actually happy with their lives.  Many of the conversations that I have had with people are “What is wrong” in their lives.  It is actually sad to see the damage people put on THEMSELVES.  We just do NOT get it!  I direct the conversation to what is GOOD in their lives.  This is usually a struggle as first…but eventually the person drags a few things out into the open.  It is amazing when people change their being into a space of good… rather than bad.

This is what I have been working on….”Being Happy no matter what”

I have control over how I handle any situation.  How are you going to handle yours?

Have a great holiday everyone!

Love,

Conrad

A workmate came to me today to ask me about SAD and whether i had heard anything about those lights that are supposed to help this disorder.

My first thought was “vitamin D”….but then…choice theory kicked in…and it dawned on me that…would this “disorder” also be categorized as one of those that are related to general unhappiness? when i googled the symptoms…it seemed to me that they were those that fell under the same symptoms that come from unhappiness…

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a condition where a person may become fatigued, depressed, have insomnia, irritability, headaches, loss of concentration, muscle aches, sadness, lack of sex drive and crave carbohydrates. These symptoms tend to occur during the time when the amount of sun decreases. The pituitary gland, located in the skull, produces a chemical called melatonin to regulate sleep. The pituitary gland is regulated by the sun. Therefore, when the amount of daylight decreases, the pituitary gland may not be producing the right amount of melatonin in some people.

but then as you see it goes on to talk about the pituitary gland, mind you it also says…”…the pituitary gland MAY not be producing the right amount of melatonin…”

Brian,…your thoughts?

Ang

This was sent to me after a training. Thank you so much for letting me share this with readers

Hi Brian,

What I realized I kept coming back to from the weekend was the truth of when a person has a strong meaningful realationship there is no need to be neurotic, and the people seeking counselling have trouble with relationships or are without a meaningful one when they are seeking help.

This was not new , and I thought I understood how important realationships are, but it kept hitting me through the week how alive I feel, how life is worth living, and truely happy I am when I have someone in my life that I can share respect, trust, and fun with. And how desperately I want that, but block it out much of the time because I’m spending so much energy lately to manage daily life.

And the fact that I act out of my Power need when this Love and Belonging need isn’t being fully met.

Then I wondered if am I really happy when life is so busy and I’m dealing with stuff just to survive – kids, work, house…..

After last night I’m wondering what is fantasy. I know I create a lot, and deal with what comes up however I can to reduce stress, and not let anything be a big enough concern that it might crush me, and I figured that is to maintain some level of sanity that I want to present to the rest of the world. Maybe that’s insane.

K.W