CoachBri’s Blog

Last night I watched an inspiring documentary on CBC Newsworld called “Children Full of Life”. You can find a bit more about it on the website ( http://www.cbc.ca/passionateeyemonday/feature_270904.html) and unfortunately I don’t know when it is going to be shown again. Basically it was about a Japanese teacher who was showing his children (they were about ten years old) the necessity to bond, to be happy and to be vulnerable. They shared letters of concern with each other, thoughts and feelings they wrote on a regular basis. What was fascinating for me to see was how they were able to bond after one girl shared about a death in her family. Everyone responded with compassion and other people who had had emotions locked inside themselves, for many years of their short lives, were able to express them.

As I watched this I wondered why we cannot share in a way remotely similar to this during our Friday night meetings. Is it simply because we are adults and have given up on exposing our vulnerabilities? Have we become so insensitive that it is impossible? I become saddened when I think that this meeting has been going on for so many years and only occasionally do people like Angie or Sandy share from their hearts. What are we afraid of? Why has so little trust been built over all these years? Or is there actually nothing to share?

I was at the library and a women about 35 years old came in carrying papers and books in a sour mood. She was a well dressed professional and our eyes met as she sat down beside me at the next computer.

Having a bad day?

Ya I am , she barked out. She got up went do get something else and in 5 minutes was back with a pile of books. Another a few minutes went by and she was pouring through books and getting angry.

How long do you want to keep being angry?

Excuse me?!

I see you’re angry. Do you want to keep being angry?

Its that bad?

Well it is for you! What’s it all about?

Well, I teach at a private school and the kids are doing great !

So that’s not it.

Well I teach an enriched program and these kids are smart – they are sometimes doing 3 to 4 years higher work – but the parents hate me.

Why do you think that?

I just had a parents night and explained what the kids are doing, and all they give me is grief. I don’t know I just don’t think they’re fair. I work my ass off for these kids.

I’m sure you do!

How do you know? You have never seen me teach.

I don’t have to!

Yeah and why is that!

Because you’re in here talking to me about something that is really important to you and you really care about those kids!

Yeah but I could kill those parents. Why do they hate me?

Well, what have you done to get the parents to help them understand what you are doing with the kids?

Well I have done a pile of things! But the parents are not even interested. They don’t even understand what their kids are doing.

Hah you’re a smart girl! What do people do when you present them with something they don’t understand?

Well, they are usually afriaid!

So do you think they hate you now?

Probably not!

I agree with the truth of what you taught me today teach! People are always fearful or dislike things they don’t understand!

I taught you that?

You said it, not me. Can I ask you another question?

Sure.

What do you think the source of your problem is?

Well I think it’s me and wanting the parents to understand they have great kids!

Yeah but what else?

Boy, you are pushy!

Yeah I know but what else???

Ok, Ok, maybe I should put more energy into the parents

Ok. So what about the parents??

Maybe finding a way to improve my relationship with them!

YES! How do you think that would help your situation?

They would treat me nicer because they would understand what I’m doing ?

You GOT IT!

Look at the books I have out, some of the titles – Anger Management, Messed Up Parents … (we had a great laugh together)

Well I have to go. Thanks!

No, thank you!