CoachBri’s Blog

Listening bring its own discipline!

He was VP of a midsized company and was having difficulty getting through to his managers.

I have called you and I was told that you are going out of the country for a few weeks and I am in a crisis. I was wondering if you would have the time to see me. A good friend of mine suggested that I meet with you after a long argument that we had at a squash club after a drink or two.

He told me the man’s name and I informed him that I was leaving in two days so meeting would have to be when I returned. He then asked if we could meet over the phone as he was in a crisis and I was now his only chance and his friend strongly recommended me. I said that was fine and we set up a time for later that evening when we could talk.

It was after 9pm when I called. He picked up his phone quickly and said “You’re late! Ten minutes late!”

I apologized and explained that before going away I wanted to read a story to my daughter as I would not be doing this for sometime. He was very abrupt and said he really wasn’t interested in talking now. I ignored his lack of interest and stated my view of the problem as he had educated me about his situation a few hours ago.

You seem to be having some difficulty at work connecting with the managers!

Well, your damn fu…. right! Do you know that after I got off the phone today from talking to you I went into a meeting and no one offered any ideas or solutions to my problems in production at all, not even one of them?!

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The platform from which human behavior and language is launched.

Understanding how and why human beings behave is one on the fundamental factors that draws out quality in all relationships. Quality relationships develop quality people who in turn develop quality products and quality service. High performance is the ability of an organization to grow people, manage behaviors, and to produce quality service and/or products.

The success of any endeavor is totally dependent on how well the people doing the job get along. Two heads are only better than one if those two heads think and act as one.

The high performance team is able to communicate in a way that people on the team understand each other by a common language, and a process for coaching that uses self evaluation as a catalyst for Quality in every area of their life. The more people coach their relationships in their personal life towards quality, the more effective they are in the workplace and vice versa.

The problem is that most human being are conditioned by our present world psychology – External control

External control psychology (the deterioration of human kind).

The summation of human problems throughout history in business, politics and in any of the human sciences is human beings inability to get along. There have been great technological advances but all these advancements have been used against other human beings as a means to control other people. 50,000 years ago we clubbed people to death because we could not get along. Today we send a missile to destroy thousands at a push of a button. The man behind the club and the man that pushes the button is the same man, psychologically.

You have only to look at your life and see the external control psychology you use when you become frustrated with any person in your own life. These habits that seem automatic disconnect you from that person and therefore increase the level of frustration and misery in that relationship. Knowing how these habits destroy quality is essential to any organization that employs people. Progressive people develop progressive organizations. Personal growth of CEO’s, managers, and employees determines the productivity and quality of any endeavor that breeds success on a continuous basis.

Most companies focus on rewards and punishment as a means of controlling people’s behavior.

Most parents uses rewards and punishment as a means of controlling there children’s behavior.

Most spouses reward and punish as a means to control their partner’s behavior.

In all these cases, the people being punished end up disliking the punisher or resenting the rewarder, even though they like the rewards. In athletic competition, the coach often uses punishment and reward as a way to deter the athletes form bad habits or trying to increase the level of focus or intensity.