Most people have an opinion about what love is. Up until this moment in history no one has being able to make an appropriate definition defining love. If you ask people what love is, everyone will give you what they think. The big question is this: Has love got anything to do with thinking? The only way to truly have an insight about love is to identify what love is not. Every time we break an illusion about love we move closer to it. First of all, love has nothing to do with ourselves. It has nothing to do with the ego, love can’t be forced, called upon or even cultivated. One can’t think one’s way to love. Most people have an image of what they think love is but an image is put together by their thinking. Thinking has nothing whatsoever to do with love. Most people think they are in love with someone because they are jealous. Is not jealousy the emotional content to thinking, stemming from an insecure and full of emotional content, attachment and therefore loveless? To love is to create space for people to be who they are, and to support what they want for themselves and their own life. Love is about freedom and creating independence and nurturing that independence by facing one’s attachment to a person, which only breeds fear. Obviously where fear is, love isn’t. The sad thing about human relationship is that most people use other people to cover up their loneliness. The person we hook up with is supposed to take us out of our loneliness. This is when sex becomes all-important in a relationship or often is the relationship. Or we begin to use our relationships as a means of control, mainly controlling the other person. Control is seen by the external control habits we practice like criticism, humiliation, blaming, nagging, threatening, punishing, withdrawing and so many more. We practice all of these external control habits in our marriages and to so-called people we love. Where is the love in all of these things? By learning an internal psychology one comes face to face with their utter lack of love and compassion. To perceive oneself as one is is the flowering of love. That perfume is available to every person regardless of color or creed. Love never discriminates. The moment you see yourself loving or compassionate you are not. A virtuous person would never recognize their own virtue. Love is a virtue! So one can never say that love is personal. One can’t love one person and hate another. Love is the building block to all relationships. Without the foundation of love, relationships are merely a mutual using. And yet very few people are interested in all this.

Coach bri