Trouble in the Classroom
I have come to see you because I have a very difficult time in my job as a teacher. I am new to it and this is my second year. I vowed to myself that I would not repeat the awful previous year that I had, and here I am and it is starting all over again. I have taken 2 workshops now on classroom management but they seem nice in theory but I am afraid that I am too weak to carry their suggestions out. My principal knows you and thought it would be a good thing to meet to see if you could help. I know I am a good teacher but some kids just don’t want to learn.
Well, first of all what is the meaning of the word education?
I am not sure but it has latin roots I think!
Yes it does. It means to draw out.
I remember that. It struck me as been rather odd.
Yes we spend a lot of time trying to ram things into the heads of students, who, for whatever reason, see no or little value in what teachers like you are trying to ram in their heads! Do you see the fact of this ?
Well we have to cover the currriculum you know.
But if you were a student, would you listen to you and what you are teaching?
I guess only some of it. The rest doesn’t really touch their life.
So in your mind, what do you feel is the most important thing in a class room?
That is easy – that I am in control of the kids in the class!
So when you teach, how do you start the lesson?
This is the problem. I can’t get to the lesson because I can’t control the kids, it takes me about 30 minutes to get things going. By this time I am so angry that I would like to string them all up!
So when they refuse to coooperate with you, what do you do ?
I talk nice first or pay attendion to the ones who listen a little bit. The others I just say forget it, what is the piont, I let then sit there. Sometimes I even yell at a couple of them, then if they don’t smarten up, I kick them out.
So what kind of class do you want to have?
A class where the kids want to come and learn. A place where they like to be.
Would you want to be in a class where you were yelled at?
Wait a minute! I don’t like yelling at them. They yell at me too!
I am sure they do but would you want to be in a class where you are yelled at?
I am only trying to teach them something!
Yeah I know but you are yelling at them, so what are you teaching them?
I guess to yell back at me?
So how long do you want to go on yelling at them and have them yell at you ?
Hey, this isn’t fair. Why don’t you ask them these question and straighten them out?
They are not in my office asking for help, you have a tough job and I believe I can help you! Do you see what I am doing with you ? I am starting to get you to self-evaluate, how you are handling your problem and that is a little painful, isn’t it?
Well yeah it is. If I knew it was going to be like this I might not have come, but you come recommended so I am here?
Well I am glad you are. You see in all human relationships happiness is always tied to how well the people doing something get along. If we can do something different with those people and learn to get along better, things might turn around and you will feel better, therefore be less angry and not yell. Look at any situation in the world where people are not getting alone and look and see how they treat each other. Both parties are trying to force the other into something the other person or people don’t want to do! This is practising the damaging psychology of external control, which is rooted in “I know what is best you.”
Well I do know that what I teach could help them!
I think you’re right but if you can’t develop a relationship with them how will you ever convince them that you can?
I see you’re point!
Can I make a suggestion ?
Sure, that is why I’m here!
Monday, when you go and see them, don’t try to get to teach them anything.
What are you, nuts?
Well just give up! Tell them the truth that you came to see me because you can’t teach them and I taught you something today and you want to pass on how you failed with them!
Oh shit, they would freak out! THEY would think I lost it for sure!
Well what did you learn from me today?
I guess that I don’t have a relationship with my students because I yell at them a lot.
Yes you got it, is there anything else?
Yeah, that I ‘m the one who is the problem here!
Wow, you see that ? You have just learned another thing that human beings do when they don’t feel good inside – they blame others around them, usally the people they need to get close to. Wow, you impress me!
I can’t believe I even said that , I think I would like to come back and see you again. This was helpful, hard, but helpful. Thanks!
You’re welcome!